Not that I’d really like people getting hurt for real but Dean Ambrose seems to be the kind of guy who enjoys that so basically I liked the fact that he had some fun. Weird start to this RAW report? Might be because I’m starting to write this piece at exactly… 3:09am and I might have lost some parts of my mind. But that’s fine. Don’t worry!
I’m still not quite sure what to make from this episode because for around two weeks the tensions between the Shield members grew and the possibility to make the rift even bigger was certainly there. But all of a sudden WWE again had other ideas so they brought back the strong brotherhood between the three of them and the – possibly not scripted – kiss by Dean Ambrose on Roman Reigns’ head finished the little fan girls finally off. Really, you need to head over to Tumblr and read all this weird stuff. Basically I got the idea that the whole fan base of The Shield consist only of little kids and female teenagers. They completely freaked out and cried into their pillows when Ambrose hit himself hard into Punk’s elbow and started to bleed from his forehead when I kinda thought that is was pretty cool. I probably just don’t get it what might be ‘cute’ about a guy like Ambrose who in real life is far from normal. Right, ‘normal’ isn’t the way to stand out and you can’t be normal to do a job like this but ‘cute’ just isn’t the right adjective.
I refuse to go any further into this subject. It’s just some freaking stuff over there on Tumblr and I’m still shaking my head sometimes.
Certainly RAW started with the presentation of Randy Orton as the new unified champion (or whatever ridiculous name it has). Interesting point here was that all wrestlers were standing up the ramp, only The Shield were standing in front of it. And Punk was missing again. Maybe he just would have joked around during this all serious event. That’s exactly the strategy the sister of my grandma was using when both were young (my grandma just being one year older than her sister): they always needed to help out at home but grandma’s sister always pretended that she simply couldn’t do certain things, messed all up or did it slowly like hell. So the next time my grandma had to do all the stuff because she was all different and couldn’t take her mum being sad and overworked. So, compared to Punk it’s quite similar: just act like an idiot to mess up the whole serious show because you don’t like being there and all of a sudden next time you don’t need to attend the whole “stand around don’t know where to put your hands on”. Classy strategy, Punk!
End of this was that John Cena basically made tonight’s main event match between Randy Orton and Daniel Bryan because he promised DB a ‘fair’ match if he’d won both titles. It didn’t happen so it was Orton who had to fight him. Actually this match really was a good one together with the finish: the low blow from Orton vs DB but then the Gutmensch Cena went in to take revenge for DB. And the words I cried out into my mind just were: Why? Why? Why? My grandma always says that ‘too’ much of anything is just too much. And also here with being seemingly perfect all the time. You have to have an edge. Simple as that. Through all kindness there needs to be this little evil into your personality. And through all evil there needs to be this little kindness. When Dean Ambrose kisses Roman Reigns on his head the ordinary Shield hater thinks: “Damn it, this is so nice and I shouldn’t like this but I do.” When it comes to John Cena you also have lovers (basically little kids) and haters (all grown people) because he is too perfect. He doesn’t have this edge, this vulnerability every hero needs to have to act like a human being. You need to feel a connection in some way, just some little detail you can identify with the hero you adore. But this lame try by the WWE with Cena’s elbow wasn’t really plausible when he even beats up and wins against his opponents quite easily. So, even if Cena loses one time or another his opponent can only win with handcuffs because Super Cena can’t get beaten even by someone with a similar stature as him.
Other arguing point is tag team matches once again. I won’t lose too many words on that subject but we had four of them on RAW (most of them basically useless above all the one with Ryback & Curtis Axel vs Brodus Clay and … the other one. Thankfully this one didn’t last too long. Maybe it’s because of their current enthusiasm to just put everyone together with anyone into a tag team to give the audience meaningless brawls without any reasonable storyline and cut the storylines to just one. Because maybe the WWE thinks that the audience is too dumb to remember more than one at the same time. Saying this the only current storyline happens between Cena and Orton and Punk will be involved very soon because of his ‘problems’ with The Authority. Why Shawn Michaels as Triple H’s second wife needs to be involved I don’t really get. I own some speculations but won’t make them public because they might be too insulting. I just hope he vanishes into the dust where he initially came from in the first place as soon as possible. Current rumours anyway are that Punk might be the first opponent for Randy Orton for the unified championships but will lose just for DB to be the next one. But like everything in and around the WWE that scenario might change every now and again.
At least there were again twenty good minutes into RAW that I’ve enjoyed and this was indeed a tag team match: Punk & The Usos vs The Shield. One day later (as I’m writing this piece) all three Shield members were guests of the Onnit Podcast and there is a little passage when Ambrose talked about the match and the difficulties but also challenges you have to deal with being a WWE pro-wrestler. Some parts of it are really interesting so listen to it! And the finish of that match was really great – could have been only greater if Ambrose and Punk would have fallen backwards simultaneously. So Ambrose hit the ring floor from Punk’s GTS (for the third time in a row) just before Punk did the same from Reign’s spear and the latter won the match finally vs Punk. Then Rollins and Reigns cared for Ambrose to show the WWE universe that no bad feelings were standing between them. We will see where it will all go towards. There isn’t certainly any Ambrose vs Punk feud in the near future but maybe The Shield works together with The Authority and will be involved into the Punk vs Orton feud. For once I leave it here with more speculation. So, surprise me once again, WWE. Just make it comprehensible and not too disjointed.