After just another replay from the beating-up of The Shield by – in total – fourteen men on last week’s RAW this week’s episode kicked off with Daniel Bryan and his new wife Brie Bella inside the ring. First of all I have to say that I have huge respect for Daniel Bryan to go on with work because it was only revealed right before RAW started that his father passed away. Sometimes the good days and the bad days are that close that it’s just hard to accept that something like this even happened for real. Maybe the following beat-up on DB by Kane was that brutal to give DB a few days off again not just for the funeral but also to have a genuine last goodbye. So, the intentions might have been off storyline but the actions caused by (once again masked) Kane also set up good heat for their match at Extreme Rules in a fortnight. And Stephanie in her annoying voice trying to calm Kane down was strangely entertaining.
Last week I’d written that I initially thought that RVD would win this #1 contender tournament for the match against Big E at Extreme Rules for the Intercontinental Championship. Just because he is an old horse who just recently came back to collect the laurels. Then I thought Cesaro could win instead because of his recent push. So, the first match between Wade Barrett and Sheamus was a first indicator who would win the second match. Because so far in this tournament there were only Heel vs. Babyface matches. Considered that Big E runs as a Babyface his opponent needs to be a Heel. So, we will se later in this entry who will actually win this tournament on coming RAW.
For the match Barrett vs. Sheamus I was quite enthusiastic just because: Wade Barrett. He enjoys it being back inside the ring more and more from one show to another. And it’s great to have him with a mic making his way inside the ring to reveal some Bad News for his opponent. And these are these little moments when I can’t wait for The Shield to break up because (like I might have written one or two times before) a feud between Dean Ambrose and Wade Barrett should be great. This match here was good as well even if Sheamus starts to bore me. On the other side I got another piece of action for my collection of Actions Wrestlers do that remind me of actions other wrestlers did before. So, here Wade Barrett screaming COME ON at the top of his voice at Sheamus to turn to him so he can perform his Bull Hammer was pretty much the same like William Regal screaming the same before hitting his Knee Trembler to his opponent. In the end Barrett hit his Bull Hammer on Sheamus from the outside of the end to get the win to be the first finalist. And with Barrett being a Heel that means only RVD could win over Cesaro to get a Heel vs. Babyface final. And since Big E is a Babyface Wade Barrett will win on coming RAW. Really: it’s about time to cut off this straight separation to get at least a bit more surprising outcomes, especially in such tournaments.
Then there was this promo movie for Bo Dallas again and instead of this stupid #BOlieve hashtag I’ve already collected two others (not my idea – just read or heard about them elsewhere): #BOlivia, and #BOcahontas. I’d love to hear others. Maybe I think about it for five minutes and get some on my own. Should be fun.
Another promo told us that Hugh Jackman would be there on coming RAW. Probably together with Dolph Ziggler to be the distraction on ringside for a match.
The next promo by Bray Wyatt got a huge pop by the audience. At the end probably the whole arena sang with Bray his “He’s got the whole world in his hands”. Super Cena certainly has got his own little conspiracy theories in mind why the fans follow the buzzards and not him. Certainly the people are brainwashed by Bray Wyatt. For sure! Maybe it’s just because of this little bullying show with the photos from last week’s RAW, John? No, certainly not! I just hope that this feud isn’t about to continue like that: Super Cena joins the Wyatts for fake just for him to destroy them from the inside. Exactly, that would be Wyatts vs. Daniel Bryan all over. So, only the WWE creatives probably know where this is going to end up. Maybe not even them don’t know already. Who knows?
Then another match happened and the feud between El Torito and Hornswoggle continued – with the meaningless and lower mid-card assistance by Los Matadores and 3MB. I like it when little men have matches against each other and aren’t just used as fun mascots of ‘real’ men. But the way they are used here still just happens for the fun. And this won’t ever change perhaps. Little men always were some kind of a circus / fun attraction so we won’t have a real nasty feud with them actually speaking into microphones. But prove me wrong, WWE, and I’ll be happy about such tolerance and role model behaviour. In the end El Torito won the match on Drew McIntyre.
Next cut was to a black limo at backstage. Batista, Triple H, and Randy Orton made their way out and just after the next commercial block they came outside over the ramp into the ring: all in suits. Like they haven’t learned anything from Kane & NAO in suits against The Shield. The Shield are allergic to opponents in suits and they will always beat them up in the end. But first we had to listen to Triple H cutting the first part of their promo through a bad cold. He did his best to hide the fact that he could barely speak, but really: I can’t take Triple H seriously when he speaks like that. Once again The Evolution told us that they were the baddest guys in town and that The Shield – after that beating-up – should believe that, too.
Shortly after Batista had mumbled his few lines The Shield music hit and the three of them made their way through the crowd inside the ring. Without their masks this time (are there any copyright issues?) but I guess because Dean Ambrose once again hadn’t brought his U.S. Champ belt with him this entrance was meant as ‘interruption’, not as ‘planned’. The Evolution had backed off outside the ring to listen from the ramp what The Shield had to tell them way before The Shield had entered the ring. Once again DA just had a few lines but hell did he make the most of it! He just is a natural when it comes to voice & volume variation, setting pauses at the right time, emphasizing some particular / important words, and most of all: his pronunciation is near perfection. There is a huge difference between him and Seth Rollins, who had a lot to say in this promo: he still speaks with his Iowa dialect, not quite articulate at times, and when time goes by I sometimes struggle to keep listening. And like Randy Orton gestured just before Roman Reigns started to speak his lines: I have the same problem. I haven’t written anything about what they actually had to say because you can watch it for yourself in the above embedded video. At the end The Shield challenged The Evolution for an immediate fight but just when The Shield made it outside the ring The Evolution was joined again by (this time) nine willing soldiers. A life lesson by Triple H then finished this segment: “In life you either adapt or you perish. That’s evolution.” No, that’s nonsense, but alright!
Another promo for – yaaawn – Adam Rose followed. Then the WWE revealed their top 10 of most watched shows last week on the WWE Network: no.1 was supposed to be The Legends House. I refuse to comment on this.
Then we had to stand a short tag team match between champions The Usos and Cody Rhodes & Goldust. Sidenote: when was the last time The Usos had to defend their title? The bad thing about this match was the fact that Rybaxel were on commentary. And they were only there so they could attack The Usos after their win against the Rhodes brothers. Sidenote here: Ryback made up the age of Goldust of being 42 years. Back in November when DA was on commentary he actually got his age right with 44 years. Now he’s 45. Sorry, but my memory still works. Oh, and it seems that there is another crack between the Rhodes brothers when Cody stormed off the ring after their loss when Goldust was about to help him. 45 years is an advanced age for a wrestler so Cody will be on his own again very soon, I suppose.
Next was another promo for WWE’s Slam City. No comment.
And WWE just don’t get enough of Fandango w/ Layla vs. Santino w/ Emma. When you think this feud has been already on the highest level of ridiculousness there is always another step up the ladder. But first there was indeed some fun moment when JBL (I think he was it) asked where all these bubbles come from every time Emma enters the stage. I instantly had the answer: from William Regal somewhere in the background given the man is probably Emma’s biggest fan (at least he acts like that at NXT; he doesn’t blow bubbles there but he does the dance quite hilariously). For the match itself? I really like Emma. She can wrestle, has got some great moves, but together with Santino with this ridiculous gimmick she’s just a waste. I like her character being slightly off because a female character like her was really missing but again: together with Santino it’s just silly. And as a finisher Emma now has got a pink cobra to ‘bite’ her opponent like Santino does? NO, PLEASE, DON’T DO THIS TO HER!! And to even cross the line of silliness the two cobras had some kind of a fight after the match. Is this supposed to be funny? I just don’t get it. It’s pain for me to watch.
Then there was an interview with Super Cena backstage, and he tried to act frightened about the outcome of the vote by the WWE Universe (LOL!). It was quite clear that he had to fight against all three of The Wyatt Family, not just Luke Harper alone or Harper & Rowan in the main event.
Then Cesaro came out with his new entrance music (included some sirens) and Paul Heyman. Heyman did his best during his promo inside the ring to make Cesaro really hated again by mentioning Brrrock Lesnarrr (he pronounces his name even more hilarious from one time to another) ending the streak of The Undertaker for a couple of times. At some point the match between Cesaro and RVD started and there were indeed a few good moments.
But at some point I got a bit distracted by this advert for Juicy Drop. I remembered some other adverts during WWE shows and most of them are about sweets and some unhealthy stuff. So, I got the imagination that WWE tries to get their viewers fat so they don’t feel the need or the fun any more to try some moves of the wrestlers they watch on the telly or live at the shows. ADVERT SOME HEALTHY STUFF, FFS!!
Back into the match also Cesaro was distracted when the music of The Real Americans hit and his former tag team partner Jack Swagger came out with Zeb Colter. Paul Heyman got himself into a heated conversation with Colter so the referee was distracted by that and Swagger could attack Cesaro outside the ring. The ref then counted out Cesaro, who didn’t made it back inside the ring in time, so RVD got the win and with that made his way into the final against Wade Barrett. I have to say on this that WWE have got the most incompetent referees I have ever seen!
After the match Swagger attacked Cesaro again inside the ring but Cesaro got him over the top rope. So he could confront Zeb Colter with his swing. But he couldn’t start swinging because Swagger saved Colter from it. Instead it was Swagger who got the swing for a few times. What a shame: I really wanted to see Cesaro doing the swing on Colter. Maybe on coming Smackdown when there will be the match Cesaro vs. Jack Swagger.
Then RVD was congratulated backstage for his win against Cesaro. But they got interrupted by Cesaro and Heyman just to inform him that it wasn’t a real win, just a count-out. But a win is a win. And that was the bottom line of that all.
We then got the only real Diva match of the evening: Aksana vs. Paige. With almost five minutes it was quite long for a Divas match and especially Paige showed off some great moves. And she indeed won in the end with her submission move.
Since it was Divas’ time Lana came out to her own music to cut a promo for Alexandr Rusev. In the end she used the Borg catchphrase from Star Trek Resistance is futile and all of a sudden I knew to whom she reminded me: Seven of Nine, the Borg drone from the Voyager. Is that supposed to be her gimmick? At least “Lana” sounds equally mechanical as “Data”. So, her character probably is some mixture between Seven of Nine and Data? It’s late at night and I need some sleep…
After her promo Rusev entered the ring to have another rather short match against Sin Cara. He again won quite easily within three minutes.
And finally there was the main event handicap match between Super Cena and The Wyatt Family. Cena was beaten up by all three guys right before the match even started. There was a fun moment when Bray Wyatt tried to dance the waltz with an almost unconscious Super Cena. The most part of the match Cena was beaten up as hell but in the end – just like PUFF – he’s gotten back his magic powers and Bray Wyatt needed a disqualification not to end up beaten clear by Cena. Sure His Holyness was beaten up once again by all three men after the match was ended. And finally stroking Cena’s face while singing inside the ring Bray Wyatt finished RAW.
But since the Dark Match that no-one really had the chance to see except for the live audience we now have the Backstagepass of RAW. During that Bray Wyatt stated that no-one could beat The Wyatts. And since The Shield had actually beaten them not long ago they went out running so save Super Cena from further beating. Sidenote: with dry hair DA can really be mistaken for William Regal: