The real reason behind Super Cena being champ again +++ The briefcase of Seth Rollins is loaded with TNT +++ Only a Real American can be even against Rusev +++ One minute silence for Wade Barrett and Daniel Bryan +++ Cesaro steps even up his heel behaviour +++ Damien Sandow is Vince McMahon +++ The Wyatts grind the Walls of Jericho +++ Paige is a woman of few words +++ Seth Rollins’ first attempt to cash in fails miserably

“Seth! Seth. Listen, puppet boy, from one scumbag to another: you don’t really think this is over, do ya? You don’t really think you’ve won last night, do ya? You didn’t win. In fact, your Plan A failed miserably. And your Daddy, Triple H, had to bail you out with his Plan B. Sending Uncle Kane down to knock me off that ladder. No, I’m not even upset about what happened at Money In The Bank. Because it might be more fun this way. Every time you ever think about cashing in that contract, I’m gonna be there. I’m gonna haunt you. So, go and make all the plans you want. Cause that briefcase you’re holding doesn’t have a contract inside, it’s loaded with TNT. And every time you’re trying cashing it in, it’s gonna blow up in your face, Seth. Believe that.” –DEAN AMBROSE.


The real reason behind Super Cena being champ again
Initially, I didn’t want to say anything about Super Cena because I’m quite sick about him being champion again, about the audience that always give him a huge pop (it doesn’t matter that it is mainly Cena Sucks chants; he gets huge pops, and that’s all that counts for WWE) when they should be just silent.

The funny thing about Cena is that I’ve read somewhere (sorry about not quoting the actual source but I haven’t saved it; just stumbled upon this statement somewhere and it kept staying into my mind) that he isn’t happy with always winning and getting served anything by WWE on a silver plate. Yes, he’s got a contract and needs to do certain things. But: as the face of the company, shouldn’t he have the influence to tell creatives that he’d like to have some edge into his character, that he’d like to actually lose like every fifth match or so? Maybe he wouldn’t be that boring to watch when you don’t know if he loses or not before the matches start. If he doesn’t like his gimmick, I’m sure he could do something about it.

In my MITB prediction preview I doubted that WWE would be stupid enough to make Cena the champion again. And I was wrong. Because I haven’t thought about for them still trying to make him popular again. Now, since him being champion instead of one of the pets of The Authority, one certain Randy Orton, he’s made the number one enemy of The Authority. And WWE thinks that the WWE Universe thinks like George W. Bush once said: “You’re either with us or against us”. It’s this black / white thinking, the WWE thinks the WWE Universe thinks. The WWE Universe hates The Authority. So, if Super Cena is all against The Authority, the WWE Universe has to love Super Cena, right?

WRONG! Because it’s not at all only black and white. There is a lot of grey between. So, if Super Cena is champion, I just don’t care about these belts. And I use his segments most and foremost for all the things we have to do on a daily basis. The only reason I write about it right now is to tell you that I won’t buy any of Cena’s merchandize. I won’t buy this 2K15 game. I most certainly won’t buy his new DVD. You won’t make money from me with any Cena products. You would make money from me with any merchandize from Dean Ambrose but the man doesn’t even have his own page on the WWE shop by now. So, I’ll still need to design my very own Dean Ambrose shirts and when WWE finally get him some official ones they probably will be bad anyway. Like the recent Cesaro ones for example.

Anyway, at the Battleground PPV on 20 July 2014, Super Cena has to defend his belt collection in a Fatal-4-Way match against Randy Orton, Kane and Roman Reigns. And this is really funny. Funny in a very sarcastic sense of meaning, of course. Because of the use of Roman Reigns. To make my thought slightly clear, I’m going to use key points. So, you might be hopefully able to follow me:

  • First of all, Roman Reigns still uses the whole Shield gimmick: attire, slightly re-arranged music, entrance through the crowd.
  • Him and Dean Ambrose didn’t officially break up, but Dean Ambrose has got his own attire, new music and he enters the ring from ramp-side (It wouldn’t have made no sense to break them up since they are both faces right now; would have been difficult to make their break-up believable.
  • Roman Reigns doesn’t care about The Shield break-up and the betrayal of Seth Rollins. All revenge is up to Dean Ambrose.
  • Roman Reigns basically is the number one enemy of Triple H. But he still gets a title shot at Battleground.
  • Just before MITB and in that very ladder match, one of the main spots were on Reigns vs. Cena. There was a lot of staring and teasing each other. But still Roman Reigns saves Cena in this episode of RAW from further punishment by Triple H.

You probably got my confusion about the use of Roman Reigns. It’s all highly illogical. And it just seems that WWE just don’t really know how to use him or which gimmick he needs to get. It’s almost the same compared to the use of Damien Sandow. But he eventually knows how to act. More on Damien Sandow – once again – down below.

The briefcase of Seth Rollins is loaded with TNT
Dean Ambrose The other pet of The Authority, Seth Rollins, came out when Triple H gave Cena a farewell with him stating that he would have a Plan B in case Cena survives the Fatal-4-Way at Battleground. Rollins though, didn’t pay attention to Cena but only to his briefcase and went inside the ring to have his match against RVD. Just over ten minutes of fast and high-flying action went by when Rollins finally got the win with his Curb Stomp. Afterwards he was quite cocky to the interviewer inside the ring. And I’ve learned just another slang word: Toots, meaning “baby” from some 1920s black/white movie. Rollins went on to taunt the crowd and clarifying that as the owner of that briefcase, he could cash in any time, any where on his title shot opportunity.

Someone had a slightly different opinion about that. And said someone instantly appeared on the Titantron. Once again, Dean Ambrose cut an awesome promo, already figured the positives from his loss at MITB and that it was probably more fun to chase instead of getting chased.

And given the reaction of Seth Rollins, I have to add something on Dean’s craziness. You know, he’s called the Lunatic Fringe, being out of his mind, etc. But: he’s used to it being like that. Plus: if you are crazy you are just a bit more creative than so-called normal people. So, in fact it’s no obstacle or mistake of being crazy. Actually, it’s some kind of an advantage. And if Dean Ambrose keeps going on like this towards Seth Rollins, the latter will most certainly end up in a straitjacket. Because he isn’t used to this craziness. I just hope that this feud will still step up to culminate in a finish that will blow the roof off. Because this is material for Feud of the Year. And we can call ourselves lucky to be a part of it.

Only a Real American can be even against Rusev
After Big E failed to beat Rusev at MITB, Lana was out inside the ring with Rusev to await the next failure. And, of course, who but a Real American could restore the pride of the United States against the Russian arrogance? No-one, exactly. Consequently, Jack Swagger came out alongside Zeb Colter who cut a good face promo to get one huge “We the people” chant from the audience. There were even “Let’s go Swagger” chants, and the crowd went even nuts during the stare down and the little brawl afterwards. Face-turn of Jack Swagger successfully completed.

One minute silence for Wade Barrett and Daniel Bryan
The next match was between Sheamus & The Usos and The Wyatts. It lasted for just over twelve minutes and had a good finish with Luke Harper winning against one of the Usos. Otherwise, I didn’t pay enough attention to appreciate anything else.

Backstage, Nikki Bella then was punished by Stephanie McMahon for being the sister of Brie Bella. And back inside the arena in Hartford, Bo Dallas demanded one minute of silence for Wade Barrett and Daniel Bryan who can’t compete at the moment because of their injuries. The minute was longer than usual but finally Nikki Bella came out for her handicap match against both Funkadactyls, Cameron and Naomi. After not even two minutes, Naomi won; Cameron was jealous because she wanted to win and we got just another useless bitching between these two.

Cesaro steps even up his heel behaviour
There was a bit of talk about Wade Barrett’s injury afterwards. So, Michael Cole told us that he suffered a separated shoulder that would keep him out of action for several months. Damn Jack Swagger! Because of that, the Intercontinental Championship title was made vacant again. And there would be a Battle Royal for it at Battleground. Shortly after this announcement, Paul Heyman came out to introduce to us the first entrant to this match: Cesaro. And he was out for his upcoming match against Kofi Kingston. Surprisingly, Kofi won within seven minutes but that wasn’t the best thing that could have happened to him. Because now Cesaro was angry and assaulted Kofi inside and outside the ring. Even Michael Cole was involved when Cesaro made Kofi flying over the announcers table. Cesaro had already started his cocky heel behaviour during the match when the crowd chanted for the Cesaro Swing but Cesaro refused to do so. Maybe WWE just want to know, how much heat Cesaro is able to create. As for me, I just don’t feel it. Heyman can be pretty much hated on his own. But I can’t see Cesaro like an evil guy. He’s got just a too nice face for it and his expressions are limited. The actual evil thing about this segment was that Kofi winning the match did happen during the commercial break. What nonsense is that, WWE?

Damien Sandow is Vince McMahon


It’s kinda weird what happens to and with Damien Sandow right now, isn’t it? Every other week he has to come out with another more or less stupid gimmick but we are at this point right now that we are looking forward to as whom Sandow might come out this show. He is just that good. And once again he was hilarious as Vince McMahon, the chairman of the WWE. Seriously, I can’t wait for the next show and right after the Dean Ambrose segment/s, I’m really looking forward to Damien Sandow’s next gimmick. He might be stuck in a dilemma: when he’s not over with the crowd, he’ll end up as a low carder like The Great Khali, Sandow had his “match” afterwards, or gets even fired. When he’s great at what he’s doing – like he is at the moment – he’ll be stuck in it like forever. One thing on this dilemma is a fact: Sandow can’t win here except for the WWE to have some sympathy with him.

The Wyatts grind the Walls of Jericho
The tears from laughing weren’t dried, they turned into icicles when The Miz came back to babble something about being a great actor. Then the real star returned to WWE to save us from the pale babbler: Chris Jericho in his annoying jacket. But he was cut short when he actually started speaking. Because all of a sudden The Wyatts appeared to attack him. Bray Wyatt finally hit Sister Abigail on him, and we are all left with the question what this attack was all about. We’ll get to know soon.

Paige is a woman of few words
With the interruption of a basically meaningless and boring match between Rybaxel and Goldust & Stardust, which Stardust won, we had a lot of Divas action. First, there was a match between Fandango (w/Layla) and Dolph Ziggler. Around half-time in this not even two minutes long match, Summer Rae came out to kiss Ziggler. He took the opportunity, kissed back, Fandango was distracted, lost, and Layla was pissed off. Wonderful. This story continues like I feared.

Then Paige came out to cut her first real promo in WWE, just for AJ Lee to come back from her honeymoon to show her how it’s done right. It’s just that I don’t like her talking style. She tries to speak with a lower voice that she actually has and that sounds not good at all. Anyway, roles seemed to be changed: AJ Lee is now face while Paige turned heel, AJ wanted the crowd to decide if a re-match should take place now. And of course it did. And of course AJ Lee won her title back. Sidenote: the CM Punk chants weren’t just annoying but also complete stupid, because AJ Lee, the WWE character, is in no relationship at all with CM Punk, the (still a few days) WWE character.

Seth Rollins’ first attempt to cash in fails miserably
Dean Ambrose The most important part of the main event of RAW you’ve already seen in the video above: Dean Ambrose attacking Seth Rollins the moment he wanted to cash in his contract against a helpless John Cena. The previous tag team match between Randy Orton & Kane against Cena & Reigns ended with disqualification after nine minutes, when Kane interfered illegally. Orton and Reigns then brawled their way outside the arena through ramp-side, so it was all about Kane to tombstone Cena and for Triple H to order his pet Seth Rollins out. When he was finally inside the ring, the referees just wasted some time. Otherwise the match could have been started, Dean interfered, brawled Seth outside the arena through the audience, for the match to be finished via count-out. And then, Seth Rollins wouldn’t have had another chance to cash in. But since the match wasn’t started, this attempt didn’t really count. And like I already said above: Reigns came back, saved Super Cena from further attacking and then stared at Triple H. The crowd was chanting “This Is Awesome” for that. I’m speechless.

But that wasn’t for Dean Ambrose being finished with this episode of RAW because he had still something to say during the Backstage Pass. A very interesting sidenote here: while he was telling a story about him once being in jail for two months, you could see Emma with Santino Marella in the background for some tiny moment. That was interesting because before the show happened, Emma was arrested for suspected theft at a Walmart. In the end, it was just a misunderstanding because you supposedly have to pay on a machine, not to an actual living person at Walmart. The machine didn’t work properly, so Emma haven’t paid without knowing that supposedly. But still the WWE hadn’t got any better to do to fire Emma immediately. Just to reinstate her, probably after they learned about Emma being not guilty. This whole story just made me wonder if WWE was just happy to fire her because her gimmick didn’t work like they supposedly thought it would. But it was a failure right from the start. Just use her the way like at NXT and she’ll doing fine.

And for the story of Dean Ambrose that was like some allegory to his current feud with Seth Rollins, I’ve written it down word by word here.

“I live by a code. You might not think that because I look so hawsome. I live by a code. A couple things won; I never lie. And Seth Rollins has just found that out. I’m gonna tell you something that happens. If I’m wronged and somebody messes with me, disrespects me and challenges me as a human being – as a man – backs me in a corner, I’ll throw punches, and bite and scratch and crawl and headbutt until I can’t anymore. And I will get outta my sword. I spent two months in jail once in a small little Mexican border town because I got cut off in traffic. Well, it wasn’t just the cause of that. It was because I followed the guy for 36 miles, he flipped me the bird. And, uh, when he pulled over to the next truck stop, I beat him just about within an inch of his life. And that was a long two months, right? But I had to do what I had to do. There are three things in this world that would survive a nuclear explosion; twinkies, cockroaches and Dean Ambroses. Triple H and Seth Rollins don’t get to win. They don’t get to win. Until I’m not breathing anymore, until I’m not walking anymore, you know what I’m sayin’? And right now… I’m walking just fine.”


The Gifs for this review were brought to you by cherrybubbles55 / perfectmystic.

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