Kane is tired of babysitting +++ Brie Bella calls Stephanie McMahon a bitch… again +++ Damien Sandow is LeBron James +++ Seth Rollins has got some jealousy issues over Triple H +++ The Paige turns +++ Stephanie has got a very unique definition for self-defense +++ Xavier Woods wants to be in a team with Big E and Kofi Kingston +++ Dean Ambrose starring in “How to finish a match you are tired of, part 1” +++ Brrrock Lesnarrr is a lucky guy to have Paul Heyman by his side +++ Fallout: Dean Ambrose has got some advice for Stephanie McMahon
Kane is tired of babysitting
As it is almost a ritual by now, we started off RAW with Triple H inside the ring for a promo. He went for all the social media channels that he knows, i.e. Twitter, Instagram and Vine and that he could go berserk on them because the WWE WHC belt still isn’t within the Authority. Or he could lean back to wait another month until Summerslam when the title indeed will be back inside his corporate family. He also told us that he wants competition for the number one contender spot, for the one who’ll face Super Cena at said PPV.
And out came Randy Orton to moan and complain because in his mind he already was this number one contender. Because he still haven’t had his singles re-match from Wrestlemania. And this really is a disgrace! I completely agree with you, Randy! Babbling went on a bit when Randy finally suggestively asked Triple H that he certainly wouldn’t consider Kane of all people.
And out came Kane to make a statement that he was finally tired of babysitting Randy Orton. Then, Super Reigns had to come out as well to tell us some actually true fans, the WWE creatives had previously collected from Twitter: that nobody wants to see Orton vs. Cena… again; but apparently everyone wants to see Super Cena vs. Roman Reigns. Well, everybody is a rather philosophical term. Anyway, Triple H wasn’t convinced about that but he believed that Super Reigns indeed would have a match but against Orton and Kane and that was about next. And this match lasted for just over ten minutes with the obvious winner, Super Reigns, because Orton and Kane had their issues with each other again. Because heels always fight against each other while faces always like to stand by each other, except their names are Super Cena and Super Reigns.
Brie Bella calls Stephanie McMahon a bitch… again
With the next segment, Stephanie McMahon stepped up her punishment against Nikki Bella because of the behaviour of her sister Brie Bella against her. This time, Nikki had to face Alicia Fox, Cameron, Eva Marie and Rosa Mendez in a 4-on-1 Divas Handicap match. So, when Nikki came out, she discovered her sister in the audience, Steph came out for some bitching against Brie and Brie called Steph exactly this. A little brawl later, Steph ordered some security to throw Brie out of the arena and the “match” started. It was actually just some beat-up for half a minute before Nikki was pinned by Alicia Fox and this “match” was over. The most important fact about this segment was that Steph slapped Nikki into her face. This fact will be addressed later in this review (but you are already spoilered if you have read this Dean Ambrose quote in the caption above).
Damien Sandow is LeBron James
Bo Dallas inside of the ring wasn’t a great sight at all. But then Damien Sandow appeared as LeBron James (he had already done him in the past!) to cut some great promo on Bo Dallas:
“You were expecting Michael Jordan? Bo, I took my talent from South Beach back to my real home, Ohio. And bolieve me, I speak from experience when I say, you should exit that ring, grab your bag, get in your car and drive away. So, no-one has to see that ridiculous grin again. Because, Bo, if you’re smart, you’ll do what I did: leave!”
That was actually cut as LeBron James but was also all about my feelings I have for Bo Dallas. I also wondered if Sandow was face now. Because of the heel character of Bo Dalles. But that didn’t seem to be the case, mostly because Jerry Lawler wondered if the people would know whom to cheer and to boo for. To boo for of course on Bo, Jerry. It’s not that hard to guess – not only because of the name. But still, Sandow had to loose again after he showed some great entertaining moves and gestures inside the ring. After just two and a half minutes this further embarrassment for Damien Sandow was over.
Until now, one or two times a Highlight Reel with host Chris Jericho and guest Bray Wyatt inside the ring was announced. Everything was prepared for it; the whole ring was a complete mess and could have been used for a furniture match afterwards. And now something happened that I didn’t enjoy at all: because Michael Cole told us that on the App, i.e. during the commercial break, the WWE Universe was shown what happened with Chris Jericho backstage and why we wouldn’t have the Highlight Reel like it was promoted before. I didn’t like it because that was on the App and to watch it live you basically have to watch it permanently. Michael Cole can tell us that many times he likes that so many million people have downloaded the app when most of the people are basically forced to do so when they don’t want to miss important segments. This backstage segment with Chris Jericho being beat up by the Wyatts was still shown afterwards anyway. It was also lengthy discussed by Cole & Co. So, I don’t see the need to show said segment exclusively on the App like it was some holy shrine or something. I was actually that pissed off that I didn’t feel the need to listen what Bray Wyatt had to talk about Chris Jericho. It won’t have been anything knew – just the basic rambling about Chris lying to people. What about precisely? Tell us more, Bray, if you know something specific! I really want to know!
Seth Rollins has got some jealousy issues over Triple H
We got the longest match afterwards and it happened to be between Mizzz and Dolph Ziggler. It might have been some entertaining segments; but since I really don’t care for Mizzz at all (I basically love Triple H compared to Mizzz) I couldn’t watch this match but just barely took a glance. Dolph Ziggler won after just over 13 minutes.
Far more interesting was the little backstage promo we got afterwards: Triple H and Seth Rollins were talking with each other, Seth Rollins being afraid – or at least concerned – about Dean Ambrose, so he wants him to be shot off. So, Rollins’ briefcase might be of some use actually. Certainly, Triple H’s Plan A is all about which opponent can go for Super Cena at Summerslam to get the WWE WHC belts back to The Authority. Plan B is Seth Rollins with his briefcase. But this plan is currently on hold as long as Dean Ambrose is around. So, since Triple H apparently was still in search, Cesaro appeared to announce that he isn’t a Paul Heyman guy anymore because he now wants to be Triple H’s guy. Seth Rollins was slightly pissed because in his mind only himself should be Triple H’s guy. He only wants him for himself. There are certainly some jealousy issues going on! At least, Triple H could form some compromise: if Cesaro would beat up / destroy Dean Ambrose tonight, he could climb up the ladder on his list for the number one contender spot against Super Cena at Summerslam. And Cesaro was delighted to accept this challenge.
The Paige turns
This Divas match, but especially the following Paige heel turn, I’ve enjoyed very much. And because of the shock / surprise within the audience, no-one really thought about doing these stupid CM Punk chants again. Like it happened just before the Tag Team match between Paige & AJ Lee against Natalya & Emma started (as you may get some idea through these Gifs from AJ Lee reacting quite sarcastically to them). It’s like the crowd wants to transmit the following message:
“Yeah, you know, we are very smart. We know that you are married to CM Punk (bonus points if you refer to him as “Phil Brooks”) and to let you know that we know we are chanting for your husband. Ho. Ho. Ho.”
I mean, how more stupid can you act? AJ Lee inside the ring isn’t married to CM Punk. This AJ Lee is a character, so she shrugging to these chants basically meant:
“I don’t know what you are chanting for. CM Punk is nowhere near this ring, not to mention this storyline. So, piss off, go home and watch some old CM Punk videos on the Network because he won’t come back, especially not when you are chanting for him during a Divas segment that will be epic, FFS!”
About the actual match I was slightly confused because since Paige & AJ Lee were faces, are Natalya & Emma considered as heel now? We will see in recent weeks maybe. Or this is just another step in WWE to not making such a hard cut between faces and heels anymore. Maybe this or creatives just don’t care about Divas at all. For the actual match they didn’t really care. Because it was over within just over two minutes with AJ Lee getting the win for her team. She celebrated with skipping around the ring but Paige wanted to celebrate with her inside the ring. So, AJ Lee was made to go back to her. A bit of celebrating and arm-raising later, when AJ Lee had turned her back towards Paige, the latter showed her true face with pulling AJ Lee on her hair to the ground to start some humiliation on her. She even threw her over the announcers table and later on repeated herself that it was her house. To top all that, Paige then mocked AJ Lee’s skipping. Perfect heel turn, especially for the otherwise pretty stale Divas division. Now, that the field is prepared, I’m really looking forward to this Paige vs. AJ Lee feud. Hopefully without any stupid CM Punk chants.
Stephanie has got a very unique definition for self-defense
To calm down a bit from this shock of events, WWE brought to us Fandango vs. Zack Ryder. That lasted for just more than one minute and Zack Ryder got the surprising victory. Well, actually not that surprising given the recent turn of events with the issues Fandango had with his women. Layla and Summer Rae actually came out together with Zack Ryder and celebrated with him after his win. At this point, Fandango should form a tag team with Tamina Snuka, so the both of them can have a tag team match against Layla & Summer Rae at Summerslam. It definitely could get worse.
Like the following segment: a backstage interview with some Flo Rida. He’s supposed to be a singer / rapper or something. I just haven’t heard from him at all. And this kind of music he does seems to be the music the common WWE fan seems to enjoy. Well, I don’t and I’m actually proud of it. Enough of this.
Because the next segment was far more interesting: Stephanie McMahon was still out on ringside because she’d announced Flo Rida, watched his performance. But right after he was finished, cameras went for Stephanie again because she was circled from some police officers. It turned out like that because their conversation grew in heat, so some words could be heard about arresting her for slapping Brie Bella. Stephanie told the officers that it was some kind of self-defence and certainly she didn’t want to come with them. Actually she was quite afraid of jail, maybe because of some filthy stories she might have heard. Meanwhile backstage, also Triple H couldn’t help even if both, him and Steph, started to threaten the officers with some “friends” they’d have. But Triple H was also slightly distracted because he still needed to find his chosen opponent for Super Cena at Summerslam. So, Steph was driven away while Triple H was on his cell again.
Xavier Woods wants to be in a team with Big E and Kofi Kingston
We all had to calm down again. So, we got another quite meaningless match of Rybaxel vs. Big E & Kofi Kingston. Within just over three minutes Rybaxel won it to leave Big E & Kofi back inside the ring. And out came the long lost but not really missed Xavier Woods to tell Big E & Kofi that they shouldn’t always do what they are told. That they shouldn’t be the always smiling nice guys, especially Kofi. The three of them will certainly form some kind of a unit, may be a three-men tag team like some black Shield, fighting for the justice of the black people of the world or maybe just a two-men tag team of Big E & Kofi with Woods as their manager for the same reason. If WWE does it right, this could be not just interesting and entertaining but actually important. Hopefully, this storyline won’t be nixed out of nothing because WWE finally don’t want bring too much meaning into their shows.
For some reason, The Great Khali is now a permanent item again. I mean, good for him, but the guy can barely walk and except for some chest slapping his opponent, what exactly does he have to offer? It it because he’s from India? I bet, you could find another Indian guy who can actually fight and does more moves than The Great Khali. Anyway, at this RAW episode he had to lose against Rusev within just over two minutes. Not a very impressive win.
And after that, Stardust & Goldust have found the cosmic key backstage. Are they just there for these ridiculous promos or are they have another match in the foreseeable future? Damien Sandow is better used than these two guys at the moment!
Dean Ambrose starring in “How to finish a match you are tired of, part 1”
A singles match between Dean Ambrose and Cesaro! I’m not doing this very often because I think this catchphrase is just stupid, but this time I just jump over my shadow in shouting: YES! YES! YES! at the top of my voice. I had some issues with the WWE about that match because two minutes of almost the best stuff of it happened during the commercial. Thankfully we have the great Dean Ambrose appreciation website, so we can also watch these little snippets as often as we want to!
Anyway, the match was quite even for the most of the just over eleven minutes. Once again there was another variation of how to counter the Pendulum Lariat (that is indeed a Lariat, Jerry Lawler, not a clothesline! I bet, William Regal has cut himself the moment he heard Lawler calling the Pendulum Lariat the “Clothesline From Hell”) but in the end no-one can run away from it. Also spectacular at any given time Dean Ambrose brings this move onto the mat, is the Tornado DDT. It’s actually one of my favourite moves by Dean Ambrose. And I consider doing another page on this website for all his moves in Gif form. It’s only a thought so far. Maybe I’m gonna do this for real if I have the time.
The finish of the match was all Dean Ambrose again: zero fucks were given about winning or losing this match. But for the sake of sending a message to Seth Rollins he just hit Cesaro with a ‘steel’ chair to hand Cesaro the win via disqualification. Further chairs made their way inside the ring but Cesaro wisely flew the scene already. It actually was a great teaser for their re-match at Smackdown I know can’t really waiting for to actually watching it.
Brrrock Lesnarrr is a lucky guy to have Paul Heyman by his side
It wasn’t much of a surprise anymore that Paul Heyman’s offered Plan C to Triple H was indeed Brrrock Lesnarrr. He came out with him after Triple H’s Plan A, Randy Orton, was beat up through the audience by Super Reigns. For some seconds, seeing his Plan A finally fading away, Triple H was left speechless in the middle of the ring. So, accepting Plan C was a no-brainer in the end. Paul Heyman then cut a promo of around eight minutes on his client Brrrock Lesnarrr that was brilliant as ever. The interesting part about this Plan C now is what will happen with the title when Brrrock Lesnarrr will win them? Will he join The Authority or will he just hand the titles over? I think, none of it has to be considered very much because Super Cena most certainly will retain his titles, also against the Beast Incarnate. Finally, it will be Super Reigns at Wrestlemania 31 who will win them from Cena, so Seth Rollins can try to cash in again. And all three former Shield guys will headline this very show. Believe that!
The Dark Match segment was all about Dean Ambrose & Super Reigns against Seth Rollins. In the end, Dean Ambrose and Reigns just played around with their former team mate and his briefcase. It’s just a shame that we don’t get something like that on television. But all we get on the telly is about the storylines while this dark match stuff has got live event character, i.e. stuff the wrestlers most certainly make up on their own just to entertain people. But as long as there are people with cell phones, we are lucky enough to get some extra fun stuff from blurry smartphone videos. Like this little Gif set here
Fallout: Dean Ambrose has got some (filthy) advice for Stephanie McMahon
Yes, another RAW Fallout interview with Dean Ambrose. It’s not shown on television and WWE staff probably know why they don’t leat Dean Ambrose tell his stories directly in the show. Because it most certainly isn’t PG. From first listening it’s almost cute and caring to hear him give his advice and some help to Stephanie who probably has to suffer one night in jail. But since Stephanie is part of The Authority and more important the wife of Triple H, i.e. one of Dean Ambrose’s self-declared “enemy for life”, his “advice” and “help” has to be seen in a much different light. Actually, look after Sneaky Pete (esp. no.s 3+6!) in the always great “Urban Dictionary” and since Fat Tony is a certain Mafia boss from The Simpson’s it’s pretty clear that Dean Ambrose’s advice is more a threat, to add some topping to the fear Stephanie already has got. Hilarious!