My first time +++ Cameron’s gimmick is Britney from the 90’s +++ Reviews, baby! +++ The White Sunshine & The Black Grumpy Cat +++ Some rants on the United States Championship +++ Sheamus is intense +++ Dean Ambrose loves alligators

“Yeah, but I went to war with Alberto Del Rio for over fifteen minutes. The Authority probably thought they had that one in the bag. Seth Rollins probably thought he had it in the bag. But what they didn’t count on was the dynamo, the world beater, the juggernaut that is Heath Slater. That must have been a tough one for them to swallow. Unfortunately now we head to SummerSlam where the moral nexus of the universe will be set back on its course. And I’ll beat Seth Rollins to a pulp!” -[Any idea what’s the stipulation you would like to choose?]- “Well, I had been talking to an alligator guy in L.A. about maybe getting some alligators to surround the ring but the logistics, and everything of that didn’t really work out so I’m going to keep sitting on it and thinking about it and you’ll find out this Friday night on SmackDown.” –DEAN AMBROSE.

My first time
First time ever that I was basically forced to watch Superstars due to this promo by Dean Ambrose. Right, I wasn’t really forced because at first I only wanted to watch this very promo. But somehow (don’t ask why) I ended up downloading it. And now I’m sitting on the coach from Dresden to Dortmund (eight hours, for anyone who’s interested to know that), transcribing Dean Ambrose Promos and… you may have guessed it… watching Superstars.

Cameron’s gimmick is Britney from the 90’s
The show kicked of with a fun Divas match between Cameron and Emma. It’s good seeing Emma being back on her own. And I hope that she’ll be back at RAW and / or SmackDown very soon. It very much lacks of a character like hers in the Divas Division because most female wrestlers in WWE are concerned about their appearance, their looks and beauty. So, someone like Emma who dances to her bubbles and has got a pretty interesting move arsenal inside the ring, is a great refreshing force for WWE. And when she did make her entrance, the audience was very much on her side. Huge pop, I have to say.

The match itself was short but interesting. The bell had been long rang when Cameron was still looking into a mirror to check on her face. And Emma dancing at her maybe to initiate the start of the match. Despite the schoolgirl uniform outfit, Cameron got the win and celebrated with checking on her make-up. Some pretty annoying gimmick that she’s got there, that’s for sure!

Reviews, baby!
After that, for once there were quite some reviews. First of all we got reminded about that Erick Rowan was banned from ringside for Bray Wyatt’s match against Chris Jericho at SummerSlam. Now, that should be the case for Luke Harper as well, if he was going to lose in his match against Jericho at Superstars. And I thought Harper was already banned because this stipulation match already happened to have taken place at the latest episode of RAW. Anyway, other reviews were about to be shown, that was Stephanie McMahon vs Brie Bella (basically their whole recent history) and a SummerSlam special between The Undertaker and Stone Cold Steve Austin from 30 August 1998. Plus: we got to know another official theme song of this year’s SummerSlam: “Sunshine” by Teddy Bears (never heard of them, I guess, it’s a band). And after that we got a lengthy review from said match between Chris Jericho and Luke Harper at RAW together with the promo for Jericho’s match against Bray Wyatt (together with Fozzy’s “Lights Go Out”) and the over-hyped and over-promoted match between Super Cena and Brrrock Lesnarrr.

The White Sunshine & The Black Grumpy Cat
I’m still not sure if WWE really wants to make Heath Slater and Titus O’Neil a tag team. Or is that a more open relationship between these two guys? But still, Slater Gator or Slater & The Gator sounds like some serious comedy series, Heath Slater the funny guy, always willing to talk about things, having great ideas that he likes to share with his partner in crime. On the other side there is Titus O’Neil who wants to be alone, enjoys quietness and time off from Heath Slater.

Their promo at Superstars was quite funny though. Heath Slater wanted to talk about his win over Seth Rollins on last Monday but accidentally, Slater spilled some water over O’Neil’s shirt, so Slater got a difficult time now to share his enthusiasm. Mostly because of the spilled water and his now wet shirt that he had to pull out but mostly because he just wanted to prepare for his match against Sheamus that was about to happen very soon. So, O’Neil went finally away from his supposed partner while Slater was left alone, already in joy about the next time he would meet O’Neil, so he could tell him all about his win against Seth Rollins. Awww, sweet, isn’t it?

Then we finally got to see this Cena vs Lesnar promo. I’ve witnessed it for three times now. And fortunately, SummerSlam is just around the corner so within one week there is no need to show that anymore. More promotion for Orton vs Reigns and another replay from Orton’s beating to Reigns two weeks ago but next finally was another new segment, the match between Sheamus and Titus O’Neil.

Some rants on the United States Championship
The fun aspect about the United States championship is that Dean Ambrose had to lose it not Sheamus to win. What I mean is that it was needed for the storyline that Dean Ambrose got rid of this belt. But it’s quite useless on Sheamus’ shoulders right now. Every time, I see Sheamus now, I think, ‘right, it was Sheamus who’s got the title right now.’ Another fun aspect is the way Sheamus got the title: like every WWE announcer tells us that it was in a 20-men Battle Royal. But no-one tells us that Dean Ambrose held the title for 351 days before Sheamus, the longest title reign in WWE history for this belt. That fact could also be mentioned sometimes when Dean Ambrose is inside the ring for a match. But nothing.

Never heard of it mentioning by someone, so I guess announcers were advised not to talk about it. And also Dean Ambrose himself doesn’t speak about it since one of his gimmicks is all about him doesn’t care if he loses matches or if he wins them. So, it’s probably the same thing with titles: ”I have held the U.S. title for 351 days? Who cares? That’s yesterday. And right now I don’t held it. So, let’s talk about what’s going on right now.”

Sheamus is intense
The whitest and the blackest guy in WWE have a match against each other. The interviewer told us that Sheamus has got more intensity than any other superstar in WWE. When it comes to intensity or power we only have to wait for the very next match in line to learn whoever else has got more intensity in WWE than any other. But she’s good in adopting the talking style of Michael Cole. As for the match that can be summarized like this: a Brogue Kick out of nowhere lets Sheamus win after more than ten minutes. Nothing really exciting or intense.

Dean Ambrose loves alligators
Dean Ambrose 1508 Dean Ambrose After another review from Steph vs Brie Bella and just another one of Super Cena vs Lesnar, we finally got to see a review that I’ve enjoyed watching: the last minutes from the #BeatTheClock challenge from latest RAW. And after we could have witnessed the Dean Ambrose show again, he had a little interview with Bryan Saxton backstage, I’ve already put as caption under the collage above. Dean leaked that he most certainly was in contact with a guy in L.A. about alligators. And them being at ringside would have been a great stipulation. But we all would only know from watching SmackDown what Dean Ambrose would chose as the actual stipulation for his match against Seth Rollins at SummerSlam.

And another review closed this episode of Superstars: the contract signing between Stephanie McMahon and Brie Bella. I’ve already talked about that. So, no need to review myself here.


The two Gifs for this review were made by jonathangood.

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