RAW 14/10/06: Dean Ambrose doesn’t trust anybody when it comes to hotdogs

Dean Ambrose is still good at hide & seek without even trying +++ That happens when you are too dominant +++ Riding the Cyclone is more fun than teaming with John Cena +++ Kane smiling is like watching Schwarzenegger trying the same in Terminator II +++ Rusev gets a new opponent +++ The stunt double is more popular than the actor +++ Finally

“Yeah, I couldn’t sit back there any longer. I’ve been kicking something around in my head for the last hour or so and something’s really, really bothering me. See, lately John Cena –[crowd boos]– yeah, John Cena lately he’s been kinda up in my space and I don’t think I like it. John Cena is my partner tonight just like he supposed to be my partner last week on SmackDown, I thought. And then, uh, this happened.”
–[replay of Cena leaving DA on SmackDown; ‘Cena Sucks’ chants]
“I told John Cena ‘don’t give me a reason not to like you’. And I’m trying, John, I’m trying real hard. But before we go to the battle together tonight, why don’t you just come out here right now? And why don’t we just settle this issue face to face right now. Let’s hash it out. Please, John, indulge me with your presence.”
–[Cena comes out, tells DA that he doesn’t understand him and that they are clear; Cena leaves ring again]
“Yeah, we’re clear. You’re right. I was about to say the same thing to you. Cause I don’t give a crap about you. And you don’t give a crap about me. But there’s one thing we have in common, John, we don’t care what other people think of us. I don’t like you and you don’t like me. Now, that that’s all out in the open, maybe we can co-exist for one night. But if not that’s fine. I don’t care because I have no problem dropping you where you stand right now and taking on The Authority by myself.”
–[Cena comes back inside ring, calls DA Einstein and admits that he has guts, he also likes to drop him and tells him ‘don’t give me a reason not to like you’; ‘Cena Sucks’ chants from the crowd]
“I’m kinda hungry. I think I need to get out of here. I’m gonna hop in the Q-Train heading towards Coney Island. Maybe I’m taking a ride on the Cyclone. Maybe I’m gonna get a hotdog, check out the Wonder Wheel. Hu? Good luck tonight.” –DEAN AMBROSE.

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Dean Ambrose is still good at hide & seek without even trying

Credit: theking-ofbeards on Tumblr.

This time Seth Rollins was the one who opened RAW and he was still quite irate about what happened to him at last week’s episode. So, he still didn’t see the funny side of getting slimed by his old pal Dean Ambrose. But when he was just about to talk his heart out, Jamie Noble and Joey Mercury appeared on ringside to make Seth Rollins leaving the ring because of all his enemies and being a better target inside this ring. But he told the Cruiserweight Division that he finally wasn’t afraid and that he would welcome any challenge because he knows that everybody wants a piece of Seth Rollins. Just keep the last line in mind until the end of this review. It will be important once again.

Now, since Seth Rollins basically invited his enemies to come out and get their piece, John Cena came out to chase the target into the audience. From there Seth Rollins was mocking Cena and advised him to come for him. He didn’t care about his back, so the next that followed was really yelling for it: Dean Ambrose strolled there from behind, Seth Rollins was even joking with the guy that he somehow noticed from the side but then turned around to recognize actually Dean Ambrose. The following beat up was held short, just for Seth Rollins to make it to the barricade again. But there was still Cena and Seth Rollins was trapped into a dilemma. He couldn’t decide himself, so Cena made his decision, pulled him back over the barricade and started the beat-up again. Dean Ambrose then joined the fun with a jump from the barricade on the two of them. But somehow Noble & Mercury now arrived and separated Seth Rollins from Cena and Dean Ambrose.

Now, Triple H and Stephanie McMahon appeared on the ramp to tell Cena and Dean Ambrose that they didn’t want chaos but since the two of them would still so badly want to get a match against Seth Rollins, they should have one. So, we got a main event match between Cena and Dean Ambrose on one side and Seth Rollins with Kane and Randy Orton on the other. Apparently.

That happens when you are too dominant
The first match of the night was a tag team match between Goldust & Stardust & Cesaro and The Usos & Dolph Ziggler. The match almost lasted for nine minutes and during this time two things got my attention: Cesaro wore a black robe and a red towel upon his head this night and he mocked Ziggler with this Ziggle Wiggle he does. That was funny. But still The Usos & Ziggler won, so nothing more to write about that here.

About the next segment I didn’t want to write ANY word because it was that boring and stupid and shamelessly self-promotionally embarrassing that I wish I had forgotten all about it by now. But I haven’t because I’m writing notes during watching the shows, so here we go: as short as possible. Two older women called Hoda & Kathie Lee from the “Today Show” (apparently known in the U.S. but they have clearly seen some plastic surgery clinic from the inside for a few times, so this type of woman looks all equal to me; but from judging some other comments about these two I haven’t missed anything by not knowing them) were supposed to promote the Breast Cancer Awareness month. But instead they promoted their own wine from which they clearly had already enough. They did some “dancing” or something similar and the music was probably playing for the whole time they were in the ring because of all the booing from the audience. Poor Adam Rose and his Exotic Express tried to save all this but this was a lose-lose situation.

We got to see the Luke Harper promotion again after this total waste of TV time and after this, Bo Dallas had to deal with Mark Henry again. The big man was dominating for almost two minutes but didn’t really care about winning. He just wanted to beat up Bo Dallas. So, both of them ended up on ringside with the referee counting. At nine, Bo Dallas could flee back inside the ring and because Mark Henry was too slow, the referee finished his counting at ten for Bo Dallas getting his third win in a row against Mark Henry. If that continues like that or even worth: JBL starts hyping just another “best streak in sports entertainment” I’ll skip these segments in the future! Hopefully Mark Henry won’t be made a complete laughing stock.

Riding the Cyclone is more fun than teaming with John Cena

Credit: raphie-loves-the-shield on Tumblr.

Now, Dean Ambrose came out for the Twitter hashtag #AmbroseNow and you could already read his promo in the caption to the above shown collage. So, he addressed Cena leaving him on SmackDown in the middle of their match, so he might have thought that he has earned the right to do so as well. But he wanted to use his time for something worth and announced that he would leave the Brooklyn arena for Coney Island and some amusement. After the commercial break we actually got some footage of Dean Ambrose indeed entering the subway and leaving the arena. Somehow he looks exactly like me when I was riding the Parisian Metro for the first time: a bit lost and confused.

Another real funny segment happened afterwards: John Cena was seen backstage when Triple H appeared and yelled at him “The champ is here!” I’m not sure if WWE is still trying to sell Cena as a likable character. So, if that’s true, Triple H mocking Cena like this should have offended me as well. But in case it was meant like this, it didn’t work at all. Because I really only thought it was funny. Triple H also tried to separate Cena and Dean Ambrose even more with reminding Cena that Ambrose wouldn’t have any respect for Cena, that he was all alone against three men later on and that Dean Ambrose would more enjoy eating a hotdog than teaming up with Super Cena. I think that wasn’t very far from the truth.

Kane smiling is like watching Schwarzenegger trying the same in Terminator II
Next was another challenge from Brie Bella from her evil sister Nikki who was watching from the ramp. This time, Brie Bella had a match against Summer Rae but with the handicap of her left arm taped behind her back. But of course also this wasn’t something to prevent her from winning against Summer Rae. In fact, she did so within just under two minutes. Awful Yessing happened afterwards.

I was too lazy to search for for a Gif about the next scene that really made me laugh but if you haven’t seen it just imagine a pretty looking fruit basket with apples, oranges and grapes. The camera zooms out to catch a disgusted looking Kane watching down on said basket. Maybe be just suspected another hoax by Dean Ambrose with a little grenade hidden inside of this basket or something similar. But, no, it actually was a real and nice meant present from The Miz and Damien Sandow to apologize to The Authority for their disrespectful behaviour on last RAW. But Kane wasn’t impressed. He also told them that he doesn’t like apples and oranges (the fool!) but he obviously likes to smile like a lunatic and he might be related to Nostradamus because he predicted that The Miz will eat a Brogue Kick later on because he would have a match against Sheamus.

A three minute long mid-card match between Jack Swagger and Tyson Kidd was up next. The commentators reminded us that to be called “Natty’s husband” isn’t something that Tyson Kidd likes very much. But despite of that, he tried to hide behind his wife, when he and Swagger continued their match outside of the ring. For the finish, Tyson Kidd also tapped out on the Patriot Lock. So, this wasn’t one courageous fight by him.

For the 15th birthday of SmackDown there was a special show later on the WWE Network with Edge & Christian and the promo for it followed up next, Nine Ninety-Nine talk included, of course.

Rusev gets a new opponent
The next segment was the whole week hyped interview with Roman Reigns. Seriously, the hype was that big and the segment that much anticipated that I also expected something huge, maybe the start of a new storyline to get Reigns a kick-start when he comes back. But the reality was that he got one question about his well being, he told us, that he’s feeling okay at the moment and that was it. Did WWE think Roman Reigns just appearing on the big screen would make the jaw-dropping moment of the show? Well, actually I also thought that they would make the interview live inside the ring with a bit of tam-tam, so to speak. Not that I was hoping for that. I was just thinking that they would do something like that. Maybe that’s a sign that his comeback really won’t happen that soon.

The stunt double is more popular than the actor
The next match probably was supposed to be fun. Unfortunately it wasn’t: the match between El Torito and the Mini Gator a.k.a Hornswoggle. We already had a great match between these two little people. But this time it was the second worst segment of the night after this drunken women dancing. Michael Cole even had to explain the act with El Torito putting his cape around the head of the Gator. Yes, in reality this is how you catch a crocodile. But inside the ring it was just a boring hold between two little people. Not every wrestling fan has got knowledge about crocodiles in reality. And to be honest: this Mini Gator gimmick will kill Hornswoggle. It’s just silly and rubbish and boring. It’s okay for seeing it one or two times but not as a permanent item. Heath Slater and Titus O’Neil should really go as the good cop / bad cop duo; the fun loving guy and the grumpy guy. This gimmick has so much potential. But instead WWE goes for the silly ridiculousness. It’s sad, really. So, the audience was booing heavily during the whole segment. For just over two minutes the match wasn’t that long but it felt like ages unfortunately. Oh, yeah, I have almost forgotten to mention it: El Torito did win.

And then we had a special guest that the WWE was really able to keep as a secret: Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson came back to humiliate Rusev and Lana. I can’t stand Dwaaayne, so I won’t write too much about this. Actually, I have skipped a huge part of it. I just find him boring and not funny at all. So, from the first note of his music until his first word inside the ring, he needed 4:48 minutes. That’s just another way to kill some TV time, I guess.

The next match was between Paige & Alicia Fox and AJ Lee & Emma. Since AJ Lee doesn’t have any friends, she was basically forced to get Emma in her team. AJ Lee started the match, tagged Emma in but she thought she could win for her new “friend”. AJ of course wanted to win by her own, so she left Emma on her own and consequently Emma lost after almost three minutes. The funny thing about this is, that AJ Lee’s character somehow is still a face character, I think. Or am I wrong? Because her character is anything but face. Her character is annoying, self-centered and stupid, at least for me.

After this we got to see a promo about Erick Rowan. So, together with the rumours it might be that Bray Wyatt will be separated from Luke Harper and Erick Rowan – Bray Wyatt fixed both of them, so now they can exist on their own – and when Dean Ambrose is finished with Seth Rollins, he might start a feud with Bray Wyatt.

Surprisingly, we now got a really good match / segment with Sheamus against The Miz w/ Damien Sandow on ringside. Sandow once again was brilliant: he tried to imitate every movement of The Miz without having an opponent for real. And at some point, the audience was chanting “We want Sandow”. They even cheered for him when he hit Sheamus from outside the ring. And The Miz & Sandow are supposed to be the heels in this scenario! At the end, Damien Sandow had to eat the Brogue Kick, but The Miz got the win.

After that we got a real Breast Cancer Awareness promo by Joan Lunden and I still asked myself during this segment why we actually had these other two women in the show.

Finally

Officer Shaw is waiting for you.

Credit: hiitsmekevin on Tumblr.

As per order by Triple H earlier on, Seth Rollins had to kick off the 3-on-1 handicap match against John Cena. But as a real heel, he immediately tagged Kane in, so John Cena wasn’t able to get his hands on Seth Rollins. At some point, Seth Rollins finally made his way inside the ring again, but only when Cena had been beaten already, so Seth Rollins could mock him and play around with him. And the moment, John Cena almost got a few kicks to his most important opponent, Kane interfered, kicked John Cena in the face and caused disqualification after just 4:40 minutes. But, of course, this wasn’t the end of the segment. John Cena now had been kicked around by all three men. But this didn’t last for too long. Because now it was time for Dean Ambrose coming back from Coney Island.

His music hit and Randy Orton and Kane were immediately distracted. They left John Cena alone to look on and laughed when they saw Dean Ambrose appearing with a hotdog wagon. Always fond to details, Dean Ambrose first of all opened the umbrella on the wagon to maybe announce that he was open for business. Then he made his way down the ramp to the ring, grabbed himself a hotdog and looked on with the intention to watch the ongoing action. But Randy Orton and Kane, of course, went for him now, so it happens what you can see in the picture and the Gif: like he imagined himself being at the O.K. Corral, in old western style he “shoot” Orton & Kane with two bottles of moisture and ketchup. I usually don’t like segments with food. And I remember with disgust this vomiting segment with Titus O’Neil. Segments with food can be very annoying or even hard to watch. But this really was fun, maybe because Dean Ambrose still acted like it was some serious business. Or there were some fun details, for example when Randy Orton was seen hanging on the barricade actually eating one of these hotdogs.

After his attack, Dean Ambrose made it inside the ring to get his hands on Seth Rollins for a second time this night.Seth Rollins was able to make it outside but this was only an invitation for Dean Ambrose to suicide dive on him and to make him into a hotdog. Now you can remember what I have said early on in this review, that Seth Rollins said that everyone wanted a piece of himself. Well, now decorated with sauerkraut, cucumber and onions: for sure! So, Dean Ambrose even got Seth Rollins by his sausage to get his very own piece but he was interrupted by Kane to continue the after-match brawl.

Credit: itseulonzobitch on Tumblr.

John Cena somehow returned to fighting as well and very soon him and Dean Ambrose had been clearing the ring to stand tall to the music of The Authority. Triple H and Stephanie McMahon came out to congratulate both, John Cena and Dean Ambrose, to being on the same page again. And since they still wanted to get their hands on Seth Rollins, he finally gave in. But first, Dean Ambrose and John Cena would have to fight each other at Hell In A Cell for the winner to get Seth Rollins inside the steel structure.

First of all, I’m glad that it won’t be a triple threat match or any other people added to Seth Rollins vs Dean Ambrose. Because let’s be honest: if John Cena wins against Dean Ambrose to get the match against Seth Rollins, then the audience will be irate and they will boo throughout the whole length of this very match. For months, Dean Ambrose vs Seth Rollins within a steel cage without interference from The Authority, is the highly anticipated match in WWE. And they would be really stupid if they would take that away now. I’ve already read that there could be a stipulation added to Dean Ambrose vs John Cena with a contract hanging from a pole and the one who gets it will get the match against Seth Rollins. In this scenario, Dean Ambrose wouldn’t need to pin John Cena and this seems to be one of these huge fears in WWE. You just don’t get to pin John Cena, unless your name is Brock Lesnar.

Like I’ve already guessed with another feud coming for Dean Ambrose, a win at Hell In A Cell against Seth Rollins would be a great finish and highlight to this Feud Of The Year 2014. So, please, WWE, don’t spoil it this time!