The Undisputed Future of the WWE has trouble with his Authority brother +++ The Miz is the biggest fanboy of Damien Sandow +++ Randy Orton really RKOs everything +++ Dean Ambrose promotes Kane’s movie +++ Apparently Seth Rollins thinks that being smart will win over being crazy in Hell In A Cell +++ Hell is evolving

AMBROSE PROMO NO.1:"What are you doing?""Just some research for our match tonight. 'See No Evil 2' starring Kane. This guy is sick, twisted, sadistic.""This is what you do? This is your plan? This is your strategy? A movie night?""Come on. See, me and you are kind of like a comic book movie. Superman teaming up with Batman. You stand for truth, justice and the American way. Nice American square jaw on you. I like to beat up scumbags, and I've been known to wear a cape. But, really, we just don't mix.""What do you even... We got a match tonight. And the three people in that match are gonna do whatever they can to take both of us out of commission before 'Hell In A Cell'. How do you gonna handle it?""Relax. This might surprise you but even that I'm not undefeated in 'Contract On A Pole' matches, handicap street fights are my specialty. So, here is how I'm gonna handle it: I throw punches at anything that moves. If they insist on taking us down, we're gonna take as many of them down with us as we can. That's how we handle it.""I like that... I like that.""Yeah...""The whole Batman thing does not fit you. You are much more like The Joker.""Why so serious?" --JOHN CENA / DEAN AMBROSE.AMBROSE PROMO NO.2:"For the last four months I've been having dreams, visions about what I would do when I finally get my hands on Seth Rollins on this Sunday. When I finally get what I've been craving. I get that no good, backstabbing, half-hair dyed, Power Ranger suit sellout inside 'Hell In A Cell'."--[DA gets Puppet Seth out off the bag]"Look at you, Seth, look what you have become. Nothing but a puppet for The Authority, doing The Authority's dirty work for a pat on the back, a pat on the head and a fat paycheck. Actually, dirty work isn't right. Dirty doesn't quite suit you because we both know that you've never liked to get your hands dirty."--[sighs while stroking Puppet Seth's hair]"So, I'm gonna do you a favour on Sunday at 'Hell In A Cell' because I don't want you to think that I don't care about you anymore, okay? The first body part of yours that I rip off inside that cell, so you'll never have to get your hands dirty again, will be your hands."--[DA rips off Puppet Seth's right hand]"See what you made me do? You think I like it? Huh? Huh? Feel good about yourself? Sold out to The Authority, huh? Huh? I mean, Seth, you're a smart guy. Look at you, you're no dummy... You should know what I do to people who screw me over. I screw them back harder."--[DA works screwdriver into Puppet Seth's mouth]"This is how it's gonna feel like for you on Sunday. And Seth, just to hammer this point home..."--[DA takes a hammer and works it on Puppet Seth's body]"... just to hammer this point home, I'm gonna tell you about how I saw something in my dream last night..."--[DA takes out saw off the bag]"I saw myself, chopping your testicles off in the middle of the 'Hell In A Cell'. And then I remembered you already sold your testicles to The Authority, so I can't do that."--[DA throws away saw, grabs tongue]"This old classic. So, let's see how much testicular fortitude you have left."--[DA goes after Puppet Seth's private parts]"Nah, you don't need to have kids anyway!"--[DA hits a piledriver on Puppet Seth; SR comes out with his bodyguard, wants to know what kind of comedy show DA wants participate]"Let's all give a big hand to the world's biggest sellout."--[DA throws Puppet Seth's hand at the real Seth; SR talks about being rich and the best part of RAW every week; DA grabs drill out of bag]"Hey, we gotta have a main event tonight and everything and I'm saving the worst for 'Hell In A Cell'. But I got no problem giving the people here in Kansas City a little early preview if you're not gonna shut your mouth!"--[SR doesn't sweat about him or HIAC; out comes Mick Foley, warns SR about physical and emotional scars; 'Thank You, Foley' chants]"Thank you, Mick. But, uh, with all due respect, hardcore legend, I lost my innocence a long time ago and more ways than one. And I'm not worried about adding more psychological scars on top of other psychological scars. Or more scars on my body on top of other scars on my body. I'm not worried about losing anymore teeth. You know what I'm saying? Nobody in this company understands me back there, alright? But you. If there's anybody on this planet who might get me just a little bit and be able to look into my eyes right now and know that I'm ready for 'Hell In A Cell'. And Seth Rollins, that's the question that you have to ask yourself Monday morning from the hospital bed: 'Was it all worth it?' Were you ready for 'Hell In A Cell'? Ask yourself. Ask yourself!" --DEAN AMBROSE.
AMBROSE PROMO NO.1:
“What are you doing?”
“Just some research for our match tonight. ‘See No Evil 2’ starring Kane. This guy is sick, twisted, sadistic.”
“This is what you do? This is your plan? This is your strategy? A movie night?”
“Come on. See, me and you are kind of like a comic book movie. Superman teaming up with Batman. You stand for truth, justice and the American way. Nice American square jaw on you. I like to beat up scumbags, and I’ve been known to wear a cape. But, really, we just don’t mix.”
“What do you even… We got a match tonight. And the three people in that match are gonna do whatever they can to take both of us out of commission before ‘Hell In A Cell’. How do you gonna handle it?”
“Relax. This might surprise you but even that I’m not undefeated in ‘Contract On A Pole’ matches, handicap street fights are my specialty. So, here is how I’m gonna handle it: I throw punches at anything that moves. If they insist on taking us down, we’re gonna take as many of them down with us as we can. That’s how we handle it.”
“I like that… I like that.”
“Yeah…”
“The whole Batman thing does not fit you. You are much more like The Joker.”
“Why so serious?” –JOHN CENA / DEAN AMBROSE.
AMBROSE PROMO NO.2:
“For the last four months I’ve been having dreams, visions about what I would do when I finally get my hands on Seth Rollins on this Sunday. When I finally get what I’ve been craving. I get that no good, backstabbing, half-hair dyed, Power Ranger suit sellout inside ‘Hell In A Cell’.”
–[DA gets Puppet Seth out off the bag]
“Look at you, Seth, look what you have become. Nothing but a puppet for The Authority, doing The Authority’s dirty work for a pat on the back, a pat on the head and a fat paycheck. Actually, dirty work isn’t right. Dirty doesn’t quite suit you because we both know that you’ve never liked to get your hands dirty.”
–[sighs while stroking Puppet Seth’s hair]
“So, I’m gonna do you a favour on Sunday at ‘Hell In A Cell’ because I don’t want you to think that I don’t care about you anymore, okay? The first body part of yours that I rip off inside that cell, so you’ll never have to get your hands dirty again, will be your hands.”
–[DA rips off Puppet Seth’s right hand]
“See what you made me do? You think I like it? Huh? Huh? Feel good about yourself? Sold out to The Authority, huh? Huh? I mean, Seth, you’re a smart guy. Look at you, you’re no dummy… You should know what I do to people who screw me over. I screw them back harder.”
–[DA works screwdriver into Puppet Seth’s mouth]
“This is how it’s gonna feel like for you on Sunday. And Seth, just to hammer this point home…”
–[DA takes a hammer and works it on Puppet Seth’s body]
“… just to hammer this point home, I’m gonna tell you about how I saw something in my dream last night…”
–[DA takes out saw off the bag]
“I saw myself, chopping your testicles off in the middle of the ‘Hell In A Cell’. And then I remembered you already sold your testicles to The Authority, so I can’t do that.”
–[DA throws away saw, grabs tongue]
“This old classic. So, let’s see how much testicular fortitude you have left.”
–[DA goes after Puppet Seth’s private parts]
“Nah, you don’t need to have kids anyway!”
–[DA hits a piledriver on Puppet Seth; SR comes out with his bodyguard, wants to know what kind of comedy show DA wants participate]
“Let’s all give a big hand to the world’s biggest sellout.”
–[DA throws Puppet Seth’s hand at the real Seth; SR talks about being rich and the best part of RAW every week; DA grabs drill out of bag]
“Hey, we gotta have a main event tonight and everything and I’m saving the worst for ‘Hell In A Cell’. But I got no problem giving the people here in Kansas City a little early preview if you’re not gonna shut your mouth!”
–[SR doesn’t sweat about him or HIAC; out comes Mick Foley, warns SR about physical and emotional scars; ‘Thank You, Foley’ chants]
“Thank you, Mick. But, uh, with all due respect, hardcore legend, I lost my innocence a long time ago and more ways than one. And I’m not worried about adding more psychological scars on top of other psychological scars. Or more scars on my body on top of other scars on my body. I’m not worried about losing anymore teeth. You know what I’m saying? Nobody in this company understands me back there, alright? But you. If there’s anybody on this planet who might get me just a little bit and be able to look into my eyes right now and know that I’m ready for ‘Hell In A Cell’. And Seth Rollins, that’s the question that you have to ask yourself Monday morning from the hospital bed: ‘Was it all worth it?’ Were you ready for ‘Hell In A Cell’? Ask yourself. Ask yourself!” –DEAN AMBROSE.

The Undisputed Future of the WWE has trouble with his Authority brother
This time it was for The Authority to kick off RAW. Triple H, Kane, Randy Orton and Seth Rollins came out inside the ring and Triple H at first promoted both main events of Hell In A Cell on coming Sunday. To visualize the fact, the cell was brought in and hung up above the ring this night already. Then, Seth Rollins took over the mic to demand for himself a new nickname. He likes to be called ‘Mr. Money In The Bank’ but thinks that ‘Undisputed Future Of The WWE’ would be more fitting. Of course, Randy Orton didn’t like that and told us all that him against John Cena would be the real main event. And on Sunday he wants to end this decade long rivalry. Wasn’t something similar already said before they had their last match against each other? Anyway, the WWE creatives tried to add some meaning to this match with adding a stipulation to it: the winner would get a title shot against Brock Lesnar. Hey, we are getting to hear this name again. And I thought Brock Lesnar was dead and his title vacant…

The Miz is the biggest fanboy of Damien Sandow

Credit: wrestlingwithtext.
Credit: wrestlingwithtext.
I actually put in here a Gif with only The Miz in it? Really? Yeah, blame Damien Sandow! Because this was the reaction after Damien Sandow got the win in his 6-man tag team match over Sheamus. It was the first match of the show and The Miz was kind of generous to his stunt double. So, he gifted his place in the match to him and was overjoyed then when he indeed got the win. This match between Sheamus & The Usos and The Miz & Goldust & Stardust was happened to promote both title matches at Hell In A Cell. So, while the tag team title match is almost irrelevant to me, it could be interesting what will happen with the United States Championship, if Damien Sandow will be involved in any kind. We will have Mizdow TV at the pre-show but I guess The Miz won’t be that stupid to leave the match itself for his stunt double. But some kind of distraction maybe. I’ll discuss my Hell In A Cell predictions in a special article, so I leave suggestions here.

Randy Orton really RKOs everything
We went backstage after The Miz almost suffered a heart attack to see Triple H with Randy Orton. The latter promised his Authority daddy to make him proud at Hell In A Cell, only for Triple H to tell Randy Orton that the newly added stipulation was the idea of Seth Rollins. Randy Orton was visibly not amused but told Triple H that he wanted to thank Seth Rollins personally.

After just another replay of the Erick Rowan promo we got a match between AJ Lee and Alicia Fox with Paige on ringside. This time Paige wasn’t on commentary. Instead she screamed and yelled the whole four minutes of match time at AJ Lee and Alicia Fox and in the end distracts AJ Lee for Alicia Fox to win the match. I don’t really looking forward to the Divas Championship match because this feud had become boring a long time ago.

We headed backstage again and this time Randy Orton was in conversation with Seth Rollins who made it clear to him that he would rather face him than Brock Lesnar for an opportunity to cash in his Money In The Bank contract. So, first Randy Orton would beat John Cena, then Brock Lesnar to win the title and Seth Rollins would steal from him immediately. Nice plan, Seth, but why revealing it to Randy Orton? So confident in yourself?

Now, Randy Orton felt the need to come out inside the ring to teach us a bit of history. Thankfully he didn’t talked about all the matches he already had with John Cena. RAW would still be ongoing. Instead he referred to Cena as a ‘punk’ kid and I really don’t know what exactly he sees in him. John Cena himself also didn’t seem to know because he came out as well to call Randy Orton the biggest dumb ass alive. Not my words, he really told us so. A bit of threat and testosterone exchange later, John Cena told Randy Orton that he will face the man who runs the place – again. And to make this segment slightly relevant, Paul Heyman came out to remind us that Brock Lesnar was still alive. Because Randy Orton and John Cena were kind of fed up with Paul Heyman and his talking, John Cena set up his AA on him but the face he is, he sat him down again. Good opportunity for Randy Orton to come around with a RKO on John Cena plus a RKO on Paul Heyman as well. Shocking moment for me of this episode of RAW.

Next match was all about Big E being Rusev’s victim once again. At least, this match lasted for almost seven minutes and Rusev won with The Accolade again. But the whole rest of this segment was just silly: first Lana demanded for the Russian flag to come down but nothing happened. Then Big Show appeared on the titantron to fool around. And finally the U.S.A. flag came down. Rusev was furious and wanted to rip down the flag when a young guy dressed in U.S. army clothes tried to make his way inside the ring to stop Rusev from doing so. But Rusev kicked him down, then left the arena together with Lana. And after the commercial break we saw Big Show caring for the young fool. WWE really tries hard to create even more heat against Rusev to make the now third match of Rusev vs Big Show slightly relevant. They even made Big Show go to Rusev’s locker room but the strong Bulgarian wasn’t there.

Dean Ambrose promotes Kane’s movie

Credit: fabj0hn on Tumblr.
Credit: fabj0hn on Tumblr.
Dean Ambrose Backstage again we saw Dean Ambrose doing one of his favourite things ever: eating popcorn. He was also forced to watch Kane’s new movie “See No Evil 2” when he doesn’t really like horror movies in real life. But he didn’t have to watch much because John Cena came by to inform Dean Ambrose that this wasn’t the kind of strategy how he would prepare for their 3-on-2 street fight match later on in the main event of RAW. Like you were already able to read under the file AMBROSE PROMO NO.1 Dean Ambrose tried to convince John Cena that they both would be like Superman and Batman and both of these comic heroes wouldn’t work together. But he would have a very straight forward plan, just brawl his way through as many bodies as possible and Cena in the end was cool with that. But he thought Dean Ambrose was more like The Joker, not Batman. And here you see that WWE creatives indeed look into the internet for ideas and suggestions.

After that we went back inside the ring for a match between Brie Bella and Summer Rae. I couldn’t have cared less. Apparently Brie Bella won again to promote her match against her sister Nikki Bella at Hell In A Cell.

Apparently Seth Rollins thinks that being smart will win over being crazy in Hell In A Cell

Credit: raphie-loves-the-shield on Tumblr.
Credit: raphie-loves-the-shield on Tumblr.
Credit: hiitsmekevin on Tumblr.
Credit: hiitsmekevin on Tumblr.
For this segment inside the ring you can read AMBROSE PROMO NO.2 again. In a quite short version I have already written down the most important facts. Here now for the missing parts or some kind of summary.

Actually, this segment has probably parted the WWE / Dean Ambrose universe in two parts: the one that liked it and the other that was afraid that Dean Ambrose could be made into some kind of a goofball or someone who can’t be taken seriously anymore. Sometimes I’m afraid that wrestling fans take wrestling a bit too seriously. Do I really need to remind you that Dean Ambrose said that wrestling is fun and you should enjoy it? Yes, I also moan about certain segments but this one was fun. It had some puns and practical jokes. What I was a bit afraid of was the violence that Dean Ambrose treated Puppet Seth with. Maybe the little children in the audience didn’t find this funny at all. I don’t know. Yes, I also enjoy Dean Ambrose just with his microphone in a dark corner cutting his promos just with the power of his voice and his expressions. But this isn’t CZW or Indie wrestling. WWE is supposed to be a family show and you need to entertain grown-ups as well as little children. I’m still not quite sure if this segment was really suitable for little children but for me it was real fun to watch. It was also great to see that intentions for Dean Ambrose changed since he came back. Before he still wanted to take Seth Rollins back on the right track again, saving his brother etc. But right now Dean Ambrose is only determined to get this clean win over Seth Rollins. He doesn’t care about him anymore. He makes fun of him and he can’t wait for being locked into that cell with him on Sunday. He wants to finish it in that cell. And it needs to be finished in that cell for a great end to one of the best feuds in recent years (with the exception of the John Cena involvement).

On the other side, it was a great touch that Mick Foley was brought into this segment for some little pep talk towards Seth Rollins and Dean Ambrose and he was convinced that Dean Ambrose has got everything to come victorious out of that cell. People really had the guts to complain about Mick Foley getting involved into this feud. BUT: this was only for this one segment while John Cena was there for a couple of weeks. And at some stage I was even afraid that he could have been made the opponent for Seth Rollins at Hell In A Cell. That’s a huge difference. On one side we had this nice Hall Of Famer who deserved being involved once again; on the other the guy who is being involved in everything that is good just to ruin it with his presence. Fortunately, Dean Ambrose vs Seth Rollins was just so good that not even John Cena was able to ruin it.

Credit: sethrollinsofficial on Tumblr.
Credit: sethrollinsofficial on Tumblr.
Dean Ambrose So now, to finish my writing on this segment, Mick Foley left the ring again after just another reminder that both opponents will be changed individuals after Hell In A Cell for a little stand-off between Dean Ambrose and Seth Rollins. Dean Ambrose acted as the cocky, confident guy while Seth Rollins seemed to have taken Mick Foley’s words to his brain. But he might still think that being smart will help him when it’s actually being crazy that will help to survive the devil’s playground.

Dean Ambrose then tried to attack Seth Rollins with a chair but Seth Rollins could flee the ring, so Dean Ambrose threw Puppet Seth at him to stand tall inside the ring.

After that we had an actual good match between Cesaro and Dolph Ziggler that wasn’t for the Intercontinental Championship, so Cesaro got the win because of that. He actual won after eight and a half minutes with a German Uppercut. Didn’t know so far that this was one of his finishers. But to make it extra sure and to set a statement, Cesaro also hit the Neutralizer on Ziggler when the match was already won for him.

Hell is evolving

Credit: queerajlee on Tumblr.
Credit: queerajlee on Tumblr.
Before the main event, we still got another backstage bickering between Randy Orton and Seth Rollins. Kane only looked on until Triple H appeared to appoint Kane General, so he blasted out orders that both children should stand together and behave like grown men. Then we got the great Hell In A Cell promo, then just another replay of the Luke Harper promo, another commercial before we finally got the main event match.

It started as a brawl between all five men but really started off with Dean Ambrose vs Seth Rollins. It was a street fight, so they were able to use chairs, Kendo sticks and tables but apparently the tag team rules were stick intact. And Dean Ambrose was the first to got out one chair, then one table – both not really to his advantage. In fact, his teeth once again were more useful than any other toys. He bit Seth Rollins this time but like against any other opponent he should have known by now that this only leads to more punishment. So, The Authority took over control from that point. It was around this time when the scene in the b/w Gif took place. Seth Rollins apparently tried to mock John Cena in the far corner but really: how more gay can wrestling get?

Credit: cuddlycorey on Tumblr.
Credit: cuddlycorey on Tumblr.
To tease the cell matches even more, of course we had to take down the cell already. And this dropkick by Dean Ambrose on Seth Rollins was without a doubt the best thing that happened inside of it. The whole match lasted for 17:44 minutes and only the last three minutes of it happened to be inside the cell. At the end Dean Ambrose hit a Pendulum Lariat on Randy Orton. Dean Ambrose got one Kendo stick out to beat Randy Orton with it. Kane chokeslammed John Cena; Dean Ambrose hit Dirty Deeds 2.0 on Kane. Randy Orton hit the RKO on John Cena, then countered another Pendulum Lariat into a RKO on Dean Ambrose for the win. But then Seth Rollins hit a Curb Stomp on Randy Orton, so we can be very concerned now that WWE does something really stupid again with the fans’ main event at Hell In A Cell. At least, Seth Rollins standing tall on top of the cell hopefully means that he won’t do so again on Sunday. But with WWE you’ll never know.

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