A special Dean Ambrose segment needs a special review in here. So be prepared for the words only – nothing but the words – just the words. Make yourself comfortable, get some cookies and enjoy.

Dean Ambrose_collage


Opening the curtains

Credit: fyeahambrose on Tumblr.
Credit: fyeahambrose on Tumblr.
I don’t really want to jinx it for him but it kind of looks like that Dean Ambrose is on his way back to normal – his normal, i.e. the Jon Moxley normal. So, like he was portrayed on RAW and now on SmackDown was simply hilarious and proofed that you don’t have to make him act childish to entertain everyone in the audience, also the 5-year-olds. Because 5-year-olds aren’t that dumb like Vince McMahon perhaps thinks they are. They already have a brain. It doesn’t come in via OP when you are 18 resp. 21 years old. But I don’t want to spoil this fabulous segment on SmackDown with my usual rant. Because there simply wasn’t anything I should rant about. It was pure gold, so I decided to put it all in here – word by word. First and foremost, thanks to Gia who basically transcribed the whole piece. I only did the fine-tuning this time. Without her help I probably would have only finished this piece on Monday after FastLane. So, thanks again; and now enjoy: Dean Ambrose on commentary – just the words.


Dean Ambrose on commentary – the play

[Dean Ambrose comes out to join commentators Byron Saxton, Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler]

[commercial break]

[Wade Barrett already in the ring, R-Truth comes out with his usual rapping intro]

Jerry Lawler
We’re having some fun tonight.

Michael Cole
What’s up, Dean?

Dean Ambrose
What is up?

Michael Cole
Dean Ambrose joining us here on commentary as R-Truth is set to take on the Intercontinental Champion, Bad News Barrett, the man Dean Ambrose will meet for the championship this Sunday at WWE FastLane.

Dean Ambrose
Yeah, the Intercontinental Champion, Wade Barrett. I don’t know if you guys know this about me or not, but I’m a bit of a history buff, all right? I appreciate the great heritage of our great business. The Intercontinental Championship is one of the most prestigious, most celebrated championships in the history, worn by guys who took pride in going out there every night, being the workhorses of this company.

R-Truth
Fort Lauderdale, make some noise!

[crowd makes some noise]

R-Truth
What’s up?

Dean Ambrose
What’s up? What’s up is Wade Barrett is now the Intercontinental champion?

R-Truth (doing his routine at same time as Ambrose speaks)
What’s up?… What’s up?…

Dean Ambrose (speaks at same time as R-Truth)
And he’s not one of these guys that took pride in defending the Intercontinental championship every night. Guys like Mr. Perfect, Brett Hart, Hall of Famer Macho Man Randy Savage…

R-Truth (in the ring)
Whoomp, there it is!

Dean Ambrose
… what on Earth is Truth doing? That’s from, like, Ninety-three; although it is a great song, it’s on my iPod… And there he is, your Intercontinental champion Wade Barrett.

Michale Cole (over Ambrose)
So, Byron, go ahead, ask… Byron, ask Dean the question you have.

Byron Saxton
Dean, with all due respect, you talk about the pride and the honour of the Intercontinental Championship – is there still pride in zip-tying a man’s hands to force him to sign a contract?

Dean Ambrose
Hey, you know what? You’re gonna wear that Intercontinental Championship, you’re gonna have to defend it, all right? You’re gonna have to live up – live up to the reputation of a Pat Patterson, you’re gonna have to live up to the reputation of Stone Cold Steve Austin – guys who made that title important. You’re not gonna run and hide. I’m not gonna let it happen, all right? If I’m being a defender of the history of the business – and that’s what I’m being, all right?

Michael Cole
Look at R-Truth.

Dean Ambrose
But when it comes down to it, R-Truth is a guy who says he’s a fighter, and he fights. You can tell by what he’s doing right now. (Cole tries to interrupt) Wade Barrett saying he’s a fighter, Wade Barrett saying he’s a bare-knuckle brawler from Preston, England – punch me in the mouth, buddy. (Barrett levels R-Truth) Whoa, right as I say that…

Michael Cole
Dean, actually, Byron sort of candy-coated the question. Basically, he wanted to know why you would believe that that signature is binding – that it would be a binding contract having any kind of value.

Dean Ambrose
Well, I went to WWE dot com, and there was a graphic that said Bad News Barrett versus Dean Ambrose at FastLane on the WWE Network for the Intercontinental Championship, all right, and everything you read on the Internet is true.

Byron Saxton
How is this okay?

Michael Cole
Here’s a cover by Barrett as he looks back at Ambrose – and a kick out.

Wade Barrett
This is you Sunday, tough guy.

Dean Ambrose
That’s a nice chin-lock, buddy. But I’m all the way over here. I got a hundred ways to get out of a chin-lock like that, Wade Barrett. You don’t know anything about it. You’re not a fighter. You’re a talker. You’re a hider. You hide behind your championship, and you can’t hide at FastLane.

Michael Cole
So why do you think Barrett dodged you for so many weeks, Dean?

Dean Ambrose
I beat him once in a non-title match, and you’d think…

[Truth covers Barrett]

Michael Cole
Cover! By Truth – and the champion kicks out.

Dean Ambrose
… one would think a champion would want to rectify that mistake, would want to get that win back, but apparently Wade Barrett is not acting like a champion these days.

Byron Saxton
You’re forgetting Bad New Barrett…

Wade Barrett
You see that, huh?

Byron Saxton
… is a five-time…

Wade Barrett
You bloody see that, huh? Coming for you Sunday, son. You want a piece of me?

Jerry Lawler
Dean, are you impressed?

Dean Ambrose (swivels around to face Saxton and company)
Ugh. Yeah, you know what? You do pull off that shirt. I ain’t very impressed with the way – that, you know, because as, you know, as a guy like Saxton might say that you’re old and shouldn’t dress like that, right?

Michael Cole
Dean…

[Barrett brings R-Truth down to the announce table to get back Ambrose’s attention]

Wade Barrett
You watching this? Huh? (punches Truth) FastLane!

Dean Ambrose
Yeah.

Wade Barrett (punches Truth again)
FastLane!

Dean Ambrose
Yeah.

Wade Barrett (hits Truth again)
FastLane!

Dean Ambrose
FastLane. You’re right. Exactly right. That’s exactly right – you signed it. (laughs)

Wade Barrett (pushes Truth back into ring)
Watch this.

Michael Cole
Dean, you’re actually laughing about all that, by the way.

Wade Barrett
Hey! (turns elbow pad inside out)

Michael Cole
So obviously you’re not impressed.

Wade Barrett
Watch this!

[Ambrose gets up and sits on the commentary desk in front of Saxton]

Jerry Lawler
I don’t think Dean even wants to watch this.

Dean Ambrose (turning his back on Barrett)
Uh, no, I’m not impressed with Saxton’s suit at all.

Jerry Lawler (over Ambrose)
Actually turning his back.

Wade Barrett
Watch this! Hey! Ambrose!

Byron Saxton
What’re you looking at me for? Look at your opponent at FastLane!

Wade Barrett
Ambrose! Ambrose!

Dean Ambrose
I own two suits. I only own two, and I bought them both from Wal-Mart. They both look better than yours.

Michael Cole (over Ambrose)
Oh, look at Truth – Truth lookin’ to steal one here! Shoulders down. He got it! Truth got it! Truth beat Barrett! Truth beat Barrett!

Dean Ambrose (laughs)
Well, fellas – King, it’s been great. Cole, it’s been great. Saxton, you were here, too. I got a weather report I gotta do for Telemundo, and I got an Intercontinental Championship match at FastLane that I gotta train for, so…

Michael Cole
Go get ’em.

Dean Ambrose
… so, peace out.

Jerry Lawler
Oh, my God.

Michael Cole (to Saxton)
That’s your fault, by the way. You made him mad.

[Ambrose leaves the commentary table as Barrett climbs the turnbuckle, trying to get his attention; Ambrose walks right on past, high-fiving fans]

Byron Saxton
He was rude from the start.

Jerry Lawler
Guys, that was the greatest thing I’ve ever seen. Dean Ambrose turns his back on Wade Barrett, and Wade Barrett is so incensed that he’s screaming at Dean Ambrose – not looking at R-Truth, and he gets rolled up and beaten.

[Ambrose continues to walk away]

Michael Cole
And that’s because this coming Sunday at WWE FastLane, on the WWE Network live, Bad News Barrett now has to defend his Intercontinental Championship against Dean Ambrose. And, King, Barrett’s going in on a losing note.

Jerry Lawler
That losing streak may continue right down in Memphis at FastLane.

Michael Cole
So did you get the answer you wanted?

Byron Saxton
No, I didn’t get the answer I wanted, but I tell you what – Ambrose better pay respect to that man, the Intercontinental Champion, or he may regret it at FastLane.


And the curtains fall

Credit: van.i.win on Tumblr.
Credit: van.i.win on Tumblr.
I shouldn’t forget to dish out a special praise towards Wade Barrett who simply acted as the annoyed but somehow still attention seeking counterpart of Dean Ambrose at his best. These both guys together in a feud is pure joy to watch. Both of them are two personal favourites of mine, so naturally I wanted them together in a feud at some point. You never really know if it works before you actually do it. But I had a feeling that this could be good. Well, actually I wasn’t entirely right because in fact, this is not just good, it’s great. And I simply hope for a good match, that WWE gives them enough time to built a story, even if it will be a mid-card match. The only thing I’m actually slightly disappointed about (so far) is that Dean Ambrose didn’t mention William Regal as a former Intercontinental champion. But it’s not too late for that. If Dean Ambrose wins the belt on Sunday, then put him again on commentary during a match of Wade Barrett, so he can be the one who decides if he’s worth a re-match – preferable put him on commentary on a SmackDown episode, so Dean Ambrose can mock the suit of Byron Saxton and the shirt of Jerry Lawler again.

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