April 2015 – The Dean Ambrose month that was

Maybe there will be a time when Dean Ambrose will be booked to his potential. But April 2015 was his low point so far in his WWE career. That’s exactly why I stopped watching WWE shows. Because they want certain wrestlers to be liked and they try with shoving them down our throats with four+ segments per show. I only started watching Dean Ambrose’s segments from April 2015 today. And this is my summary of it.

Dean Ambrose_collage


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Survivor Series 14/11/23: Dean Ambrose and his adventures with Thoralf the Enigmatic Tongue

And again I’ve proved myself right: my predictions for Survivor Series weren’t the best. And I only got the obvious right. And I missed the main event because I wanted to go to bed earlier. But now I’m sitting here on a Wednesday, being behind with three WWE shows Dean Ambrose is involved. Life is hard sometimes.

“I didn't bring the steel chair into the ring, did I? I think he wanted me to use it on him, right? I mean, he'd brought it in. If he didn't, then, he didn't know that... you know... I'm gonna get it back, and I'm gonna hit you with it eventually. I don't know... I'm not even worried about it. We knew that match was gonna end ugly, I mean, right? Wins and losses come and go. It's about a matter of respect. You know what I'm saying? This ain't over; it's far from over.--[“What would've happened had the referees not pulled you off of Bray Wyatt?]“I'd have blasted him with a chair, again. I'd have blasted him with a chair... again. And again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and I'd keep blasting him with a steel chair until I laid him out on a table, and I'd put him through a table, and I'd stood up on top of a ladder. And I sent a manage And I sent a message, and I stood tall. And that's pretty much what happened. A few less chair shots though. But if Bray Wyatt wants to dance again, he knows where to find a great dance partner in Dean Ambrose.” --DEAN AMBROSE / BYRON SAXTON.
“I didn’t bring the steel chair into the ring, did I? I think he wanted me to use it on him, right? I mean, he’d brought it in. If he didn’t, then, he didn’t know that… you know… I’m gonna get it back, and I’m gonna hit you with it eventually. I don’t know… I’m not even worried about it. We knew that match was gonna end ugly, I mean, right? Wins and losses come and go. It’s about a matter of respect. You know what I’m saying? This ain’t over; it’s far from over.
–[“What would’ve happened had the referees not pulled you off of Bray Wyatt?]
“I’d have blasted him with a chair, again. I’d have blasted him with a chair… again. And again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and I’d keep blasting him with a steel chair until I laid him out on a table, and I’d put him through a table, and I’d stood up on top of a ladder. And I sent a manage And I sent a message, and I stood tall. And that’s pretty much what happened. A few less chair shots though. But if Bray Wyatt wants to dance again, he knows where to find a great dance partner in Dean Ambrose.” –DEAN AMBROSE / BYRON SAXTON.

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SmackDown 14/10/10: Dean Ambrose doesn’t care about who John Cena is

Happy 15th birthday +++ Kane is a party pooper +++ Seth Rollins now has got a bodyguard +++ Triple H and The Rock announce the main event for Wrestlemania 31 +++ JBL likes slapstick +++ Dean Ambrose apparently has got a new finisher

"I planted John Cena's head into the mat on Monday, so that he knows I don't care who he is, what he's done or what he thinks he's entitled to. Nobody crosses me. And John Cena lives by a code. I live by a little code of my own. I don't take crap from anybody. Nobody pushes me around and if you do me wrong I'll hunt you down and I'll make you pay for it. Seth Rollins crossed me. He's my brother and he stabbed me in the back. And I can't live with myself until I've set that right. Seth Rollins inside Hell In A Cell belongs to me. And John Cena is coming dangerously close to stealing that from me. And, John, nobody steals from me. I don't care how high up on the food chain you are.--[Miz: Got any chance to beat Cena?]"Yup.--[Miz: How do you think you're gonna do it?]"I don't think I'm gonna do it. I know I'm gonna do it." --DEAN AMBROSE.
“I planted John Cena’s head into the mat on Monday, so that he knows I don’t care who he is, what he’s done or what he thinks he’s entitled to. Nobody crosses me. And John Cena lives by a code. I live by a little code of my own. I don’t take crap from anybody. Nobody pushes me around and if you do me wrong I’ll hunt you down and I’ll make you pay for it. Seth Rollins crossed me. He’s my brother and he stabbed me in the back. And I can’t live with myself until I’ve set that right. Seth Rollins inside Hell In A Cell belongs to me. And John Cena is coming dangerously close to stealing that from me. And, John, nobody steals from me. I don’t care how high up on the food chain you are.
–[Miz: Got any chance to beat Cena?]
“Yup.
–[Miz: How do you think you’re gonna do it?]
“I don’t think I’m gonna do it. I know I’m gonna do it.” –DEAN AMBROSE.

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SmackDown 14/10/03: Dean Ambrose doesn’t like truce with people who want to steal his playmate

Looks like Seth Rollins needs a straitjacket very soon +++ Big Show vs Rusev grows in intensity +++ Cesaro is very funny +++ Leaving Dean Ambrose alone during tag team matches seems to be a regular thing

Ambrose Promo #1:
“Sorry disappointing you, John, but in case you haven’t noticed, you’re not the only one who has issues with The Authority. I’ve got a lot of issues actually, especially as it pertains to Seth Rollins. But I plan on working those issues out because I plan on making Seth Rollins pay.”
–[Cena doesn’t like playing]
“You’re right. You don’t wanna do this with me. And I don’t wanna do this with you. I don’t need to. But Seth Rollins is kinda my thing. On Monday night you got in my way.”
–[Cena explains to DA that he is older than him]
“You lost one night but I almost lost my whole career because I got my head put through cinder blocks. And I’ll be damned if I’ll let anybody else wipe that smug look off of Seth’s face for good but me, especially you.” –DEAN AMBROSE.
Ambrose Promo #2:
“How do you feel about teaming with John Cena again tonight?”
“I’ve got nothing to say about John Cena. I’ve got nothing to say to John Cena. But let’s talk about the guy that’s in both of our cross hairs: Seth Rollins. Now, ass kickings are part of our business. Seth knows that’s what he’s signed up for. But embarrassing Seth Rollins, stealing his Money In The Bank briefcase, spraying him with a mysterious green mist, that’s the kind of thing an egomaniac like him just can’t stand. And all that’s fun for me. No amount of embarrassment I can put Seth Rollins through will erase the memory off my head getting driven through cinder blocks. So, I will go through everybody The Authority wants to put in front of me: Kane, Randy Orton, Jamie Noble, Joey Mercury, The Bunny, The Gator, all of them. Nothing will get in my way and nothing will stop me from getting to Seth Rollins.”DEAN AMBROSE

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RAW 14/09/29: Dean Ambrose has to part with the briefcase but he leaves something special behind

Dean Ambrose likes to work on his body with needle and thread +++ Noble & Mercury, part 1 +++ Cesaro loses another title match +++ Noble & Mercury, part 2 +++ Luke Harper promotion +++ Noble & Mercury, part 3 +++ The Dean Ambrose Clearance Sale +++ Bo Dallas bolieves in pain +++ The Gator Role is taken literally +++ Dean Ambrose doesn’t like food sharing +++ Conspiracy talk between Randy Orton and Kane +++ Dean Ambrose does the fake pistol shot again

Ambrose Promo #1:
“SEEETH! Seeeth… are you looking for this? These days every time I look at you I want to take a needle and thread and sew my eyeballs shut. Just looking at The Authority makes me absolutely sick. Seth, you used to be a man. But now, now, since you let your corporate mommy and daddy fight your battles for you, I have a message for all three of you. If you want this back… come and get it!” –DEAN AMBROSE.
Ambrose Promo #2:
“Eh, for those of you who were looking for me earlier, I was up in the concession stand the whole time. You walked right by me and I waved but I think you were eating a hot dog or something. Anyway, when I was up there I decided I don’t like the way The Authority runs their merchandize stands. So, tonight, right here in Chicago, we’ll have a Dean Ambrose clearance sale.”
–[opens bag and puts some merch on table]–
“Everything must go. Everything except for this, of course. This is priceless. In our short time together, me and this briefcase have gotten, well, we’ve gotten really close. I went through this briefcase earlier and I found some of Seth Rollins’ personal items. When we were in The Shield, we were really close, we were like brothers and I never knew you had that side to you, Seth. Now I know why you want this back so bad. But, you’re not gonna get it. Everything else though, up for sale! Somebody make me an offer! What are these things go for? Nineteen ninety-nine? I’m a very cheap man and I enjoy the inexpensive things in life. So, let’s start the bidding at one dollar. A buck for a t-shirt. We got John Cena t-shirts if you’re into that sort of thing. Just put that down there. Sheamus t-shirt, alright, I sell a Sheamus t-shirt for a quarter. This… how dare they call me unstable!”
–[Noble & Mercury appear at ringside]–
“Uh-oh, they’ve send the cruiser weight division out to get me. Oh, no! You want me to throw it? I’m not gonna throw it. It’s very valuable. I’m not gonna throw the briefcase. Okay, you guys are gonna have to stop being so intimidating if you wanna get through to me and reach me. Bring it down just a tad. If you guys want this briefcase, that’s fine, come in here and get it.”
–[Noble & Mercury back off]–
“Alright, I forgot what I was charging for these things and I stole them all anyway. So, what the hell, you want them for free?”
–[DA grabs all merch and throws it into crowd; SR comes out with security, Noble & Mercury]–
“I’m busted. I’m busted. I don’t know though, are you guys real security? Because I could have sworn you were Rosebuds last week. Alright, alright, alright, alright, I’ve had my fun. I’m sorry, alright? Take your briefcase back, alright? I don’t want any problems. Just take it. Take the case, Seth. You’re Mr. Money In The Bank. Take your case. I’m sorry. I want no problems.”
–[DA goes off through crowd; SR opens briefcase and gets slimed]–
“I have nothing to do with that. I swear. I’m sorry!” –DEAN AMBROSE.
Ambrose Promo #3:
“Mr. Ambrose, do you like to add something?
“Oh, not really, uh, just that: after we’re done with Kane and Orton tonight, Rollins is mine.
“If Seth Rollins dare show his face tonight before, during or after our match, he’s gonna beat down coming by my hands and I’m cashing in.
“Riiight. Just remember, John, nobody takes food off my plate. Not even you. See you out there.” –John Cena / DEAN AMBROSE.

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Main Event 14/09/23: Dean Ambrose isn’t Houdini but he knows his tricks

Bunnies can’t talk +++ Mark Henry turns heel and back face within a few minutes +++ Kofi Kingston still doesn’t bolieve +++ With the right people involved Miz TV can be very entertaining

— (…) Your skull was put into a pile of concrete what should’ve shattered your entire head. But somehow you just walked away from it.
“A normal person doesn’t walk away from that. But I’m not a normal person. I’m Dean Ambrose. I might go down. But I don’t stay down. And you may not think that right now but The Authority has picked a fight that they can’t win.”
— (…) What I wanna know is, I want the breaking news. You can trust me. How did you get out of the room? Did you blow it up? Did you have an accomplice? Give me the scoop. Talk to me. How did you get out? How did you pull it off?
“It’s simple. There was a back door.”
— A back door… that’s… That’s cheap. Thanks. That’s the big scoop? That’s… that’s it?
“Yeah. I’m sorry but The Authority put me in a room with two doors. I mean, I’m not Houdini, you know. Sorry, if you feel cheated.”
— Cheated? Oh, you think this makes me feel cheated? You think this is me being cheated? No, no, no, no, no! What happened on Monday Night Raw, that is The Miz getting cheated because Dolph Ziggler cheated to take my Intercontinental Championship. He cheated! He grabbed the tights! You saw it! They saw it! Dolph Ziggler knows it! The referee saw it! I will start a petition, a petition to The Authority! That is being cheated! That is what cheating is all about! Do you hear me?! Do you get it to your thick skull?! Do you understand?!! Huh?!! Do you get it…
(…)
“Thank you, Miz, you’ve been a great host. We see you next time on Miz TV!” –THE MIZ / DEAN AMBROSE.

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RAW 14/09/22: Dean Ambrose is the best at hide and seek

Dean Ambrose likes being stomped through cinder blocks +++ Damien Sandow isn’t a very useful stunt double +++ Dean Ambrose is being held in Authority lockdown +++ No entrance for Cesaro +++ The Bunny is a serious competitor +++ Dean Ambrose miraculously comes out of the closet

"I'm not dead! Far from it. In fact, the WWE's ugly stepchild is back. Ever since what happened to me last time you saw me I've been a little messed up in the head. I've been a little loopy. I've been replaying the incident over and over in my mind again and again. And the more I think about it I can appreciate the creativity of ganging up on me two-on-one and stomping my head through cinder blocks. That was pretty cool. In fact, let's take a look at it again. Let's take a look at it one more time. Just for me."--[replay of Seth Rollins stomping Dean Ambrose's head through cinder blocks]--"There it was. I gotta admit: I'm kinda flattered that The Authority would go to such great lengths to get rid of me. You know, it all kinda makes me feel special. But I'm not dead. I'm not satisfied. And I can hold a grudge. And I'm sick of The Authority protecting their little golden child Seth Rollins. I'm gonna getting sick of The Authority all together. So, tonight I am The Authority. And I am not leaving this ring until I get my hands on Seth Rollins because I never get tired of punching Seth Rollins in the face."--[the mic goes flying; a chair makes its way into the ring; impatient sit-in; Cena comes out]--"I'm gonna be real honest with you here, John. I'm really, really, really unbothered. I really don't like the fact that you're standing in the ring with me right now. You're flying real close to a plane here, brother... John... don't give me a reason to not like you."--[Cena explains similar agenda]--"I warned you once. Don't get in my way." --DEAN AMBROSE.
“I’m not dead! Far from it. In fact, the WWE’s ugly stepchild is back. Ever since what happened to me last time you saw me I’ve been a little messed up in the head. I’ve been a little loopy. I’ve been replaying the incident over and over in my mind again and again. And the more I think about it I can appreciate the creativity of ganging up on me two-on-one and stomping my head through cinder blocks. That was pretty cool. In fact, let’s take a look at it again. Let’s take a look at it one more time. Just for me.”
–[replay of Seth Rollins stomping Dean Ambrose’s head through cinder blocks]–
“There it was. I gotta admit: I’m kinda flattered that The Authority would go to such great lengths to get rid of me. You know, it all kinda makes me feel special. But I’m not dead. I’m not satisfied. And I can hold a grudge. And I’m sick of The Authority protecting their little golden child Seth Rollins. I’m gonna getting sick of The Authority all together. So, tonight I am The Authority. And I am not leaving this ring until I get my hands on Seth Rollins because I never get tired of punching Seth Rollins in the face.”
–[the mic goes flying; a chair makes its way into the ring; impatient sit-in; Cena comes out]–
“I’m gonna be real honest with you here, John. I’m really, really, really unbothered. I really don’t like the fact that you’re standing in the ring with me right now. You’re flying real close to a plane here, brother… John… don’t give me a reason to not like you.”
–[Cena explains similar agenda]–
“I warned you once. Don’t get in my way.” –DEAN AMBROSE.

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