April 2015 – The Dean Ambrose month that was

Maybe there will be a time when Dean Ambrose will be booked to his potential. But April 2015 was his low point so far in his WWE career. That’s exactly why I stopped watching WWE shows. Because they want certain wrestlers to be liked and they try with shoving them down our throats with four+ segments per show. I only started watching Dean Ambrose’s segments from April 2015 today. And this is my summary of it.

Dean Ambrose_collage


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SmackDown 15/01/15: Dean Ambrose is ready for the Royal Rumble

We are not even one week away from the Royal Rumble. I’m under no illusions that there is no way Dean Ambrose could actually win this. So, I’m not very enthusiastic about this SmackDown review here.

"When I was a kid, I was the one you avoided on the playground. I never did play well with others. And when I got my report card from school, it always said 'disruptive in class'. But that's going to serve me well. I'm one of the thirty competitors in the Royal Rumble match. The way I see it, anybody can win. The person who's going to win this match, isn't going to care about friendships or alliances or any of that 'do the right thing' crap. The person who wins this match isn't going to give a damn about their own physical well-being. As long as the end justifies the means, right? So don't count me out. Count me in! As far as tonight goes, two of my opponents in the Royal Rumble are my partners tonight, and we got one big thing in common. We detest The Authority. Nobody tells me what to do. I just go out there and do it." --DEAN AMBROSE.
“When I was a kid, I was the one you avoided on the playground. I never did play well with others. And when I got my report card from school, it always said ‘disruptive in class’. But that’s going to serve me well. I’m one of the thirty competitors in the Royal Rumble match. The way I see it, anybody can win. The person who’s going to win this match, isn’t going to care about friendships or alliances or any of that ‘do the right thing’ crap. The person who wins this match isn’t going to give a damn about their own physical well-being. As long as the end justifies the means, right? So don’t count me out. Count me in! As far as tonight goes, two of my opponents in the Royal Rumble are my partners tonight, and we got one big thing in common. We detest The Authority. Nobody tells me what to do. I just go out there and do it.” –DEAN AMBROSE.

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SmackDown 15/01/09: Once upon a time Dean Ambrose held the U.S. Championship and people complained. There will be a time when Dean Ambrose will hold the WWE Championship and people will complain – I can’t wait for it

The first match after the disappointing feud with Bray Wyatt was finished and I am already more excited about the booking of Dean Ambrose, even if he teamed up with Roman Reigns. The direction isn’t straight to a known target right now but that only adds to the slight hope of it all.

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Hell In A Cell 14/10/26: Dean Ambrose vs Seth Rollins needed a clean finish and we will get one at Wrestlemania XL

Damien Sandow and The Miz declare love for each other +++ Cesaro loses another title ma… oh, ffs, stop it +++ Using the Yes! Lock was instantly punished +++ And now send The Ascension, please! +++ Cena needs to learn to stay down after being hit for like fifty times by a so-called ‘finisher’ +++ I nearly died laughing +++ And I like Rusev even more +++ Surprise, surprise +++ Homages and reminiscences but still very original stuff

"Earlier today I was asked about my 'Hell In A Cell' match tonight with Seth Rollins, and only one thing came to mind... Halloween. Here in the States, Halloween is this Friday. The most popular costume this year? The Seth Rollins. Because when I'm done with Seth Rollins inside 'Hell In A Cell' tonight, he's gonna look like a zombie from 'The Walking Dead' had sex with Dracula's grandmother and then nine months later she gave birth to something that looked like a combination of roadkill and oatmeal on top of a pogo stick. You know what I'm saying? You understand me? It means I don't give a damn. Tonight Mr. Money In The Bank pays the price for his actions, and we both burn in hell." --DEAN AMBROSE.
“Earlier today I was asked about my ‘Hell In A Cell’ match tonight with Seth Rollins, and only one thing came to mind… Halloween. Here in the States, Halloween is this Friday. The most popular costume this year? The Seth Rollins. Because when I’m done with Seth Rollins inside ‘Hell In A Cell’ tonight, he’s gonna look like a zombie from ‘The Walking Dead’ had sex with Dracula’s grandmother and then nine months later she gave birth to something that looked like a combination of roadkill and oatmeal on top of a pogo stick. You know what I’m saying? You understand me? It means I don’t give a damn. Tonight Mr. Money In The Bank pays the price for his actions, and we both burn in hell.” –DEAN AMBROSE.

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SmackDown 14/10/24: Dean Ambrose is already in the right spirit for Hell In A Cell

Money can’t buy you a back door +++ The Miz and Damien Sandow should be a legit tag team +++ Cesaro loses just another title match +++ Dean Ambrose demonstrates on Noble & Mercury what Seth Rollins can expect inside Hell In A Cell

"I think I've proven that the loss of physics don't apply to me. What goes up must go down. But I don't stay down. They hit me with chairs – I got back up. They chokeslammed me and I got back up. Seth Rollins and The Authority, they curbstomped me through cinder blocks and I got back up. So, the question that becomes, why do I keep getting up? I could tell you that I'm indestructible. And that I can't be hurt. Or I could tell you the truth: all that stuff hurts. My bones hurt; my body hurts. Fighting The Authority, standing up to The Authority can be a very painful thing. And I didn't die out. The reason I keep getting back up is the key difference between me and the guy who came here on RAW to warn me and Seth Rollins of the dangers of 'Hell In A Cell', Mick Foley. Mick Foley was the Hardcore Legend, but deep down, deep down, Mick Foley was always a nice guy. I’m not a nice guy. I don’t have a loving family to go home to, and I don’t have anything else to live for except putting pain on the people who put pain on me. That hole in my stomach, that thirst for vengeance is what keeps me moving forward to 'Hell In A Cell'! The day I've been waiting for ever since Seth Rollins put a knife in my back and said it was just business. This Sunday, Seth Rollins learns the cold, hard fact, no matter how fat your pockets get, you can't take your money with you when you knee deep in your own personal hell. Seth, if you got anything to say about that, I suggest you leave your little office and you come out here and say it!"--[SR doesn't take demands from DA and will call him out later]"You always had a way with words Seth I’ll give you that, but when that cell drops on Sunday you can’t talk your way out of nothing. I don’t care if it’s my last match, my last night in a WWE ring at Hell In A Cell. We're gonna burn together but you, you're gonna perish alone." --DEAN AMBROSE.
“I think I’ve proven that the loss of physics don’t apply to me. What goes up must go down. But I don’t stay down. They hit me with chairs – I got back up. They chokeslammed me and I got back up. Seth Rollins and The Authority, they curbstomped me through cinder blocks and I got back up. So, the question that becomes, why do I keep getting up? I could tell you that I’m indestructible. And that I can’t be hurt. Or I could tell you the truth: all that stuff hurts. My bones hurt; my body hurts. Fighting The Authority, standing up to The Authority can be a very painful thing. And I didn’t die out. The reason I keep getting back up is the key difference between me and the guy who came here on RAW to warn me and Seth Rollins of the dangers of ‘Hell In A Cell’, Mick Foley. Mick Foley was the Hardcore Legend, but deep down, deep down, Mick Foley was always a nice guy. I’m not a nice guy. I don’t have a loving family to go home to, and I don’t have anything else to live for except putting pain on the people who put pain on me. That hole in my stomach, that thirst for vengeance is what keeps me moving forward to ‘Hell In A Cell’! The day I’ve been waiting for ever since Seth Rollins put a knife in my back and said it was just business. This Sunday, Seth Rollins learns the cold, hard fact, no matter how fat your pockets get, you can’t take your money with you when you knee deep in your own personal hell. Seth, if you got anything to say about that, I suggest you leave your little office and you come out here and say it!”
–[SR doesn’t take demands from DA and will call him out later]
“You always had a way with words Seth I’ll give you that, but when that cell drops on Sunday you can’t talk your way out of nothing. I don’t care if it’s my last match, my last night in a WWE ring at Hell In A Cell. We’re gonna burn together but you, you’re gonna perish alone.” –DEAN AMBROSE.

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RAW 14/09/29: Dean Ambrose has to part with the briefcase but he leaves something special behind

Dean Ambrose likes to work on his body with needle and thread +++ Noble & Mercury, part 1 +++ Cesaro loses another title match +++ Noble & Mercury, part 2 +++ Luke Harper promotion +++ Noble & Mercury, part 3 +++ The Dean Ambrose Clearance Sale +++ Bo Dallas bolieves in pain +++ The Gator Role is taken literally +++ Dean Ambrose doesn’t like food sharing +++ Conspiracy talk between Randy Orton and Kane +++ Dean Ambrose does the fake pistol shot again

Ambrose Promo #1:
“SEEETH! Seeeth… are you looking for this? These days every time I look at you I want to take a needle and thread and sew my eyeballs shut. Just looking at The Authority makes me absolutely sick. Seth, you used to be a man. But now, now, since you let your corporate mommy and daddy fight your battles for you, I have a message for all three of you. If you want this back… come and get it!” –DEAN AMBROSE.
Ambrose Promo #2:
“Eh, for those of you who were looking for me earlier, I was up in the concession stand the whole time. You walked right by me and I waved but I think you were eating a hot dog or something. Anyway, when I was up there I decided I don’t like the way The Authority runs their merchandize stands. So, tonight, right here in Chicago, we’ll have a Dean Ambrose clearance sale.”
–[opens bag and puts some merch on table]–
“Everything must go. Everything except for this, of course. This is priceless. In our short time together, me and this briefcase have gotten, well, we’ve gotten really close. I went through this briefcase earlier and I found some of Seth Rollins’ personal items. When we were in The Shield, we were really close, we were like brothers and I never knew you had that side to you, Seth. Now I know why you want this back so bad. But, you’re not gonna get it. Everything else though, up for sale! Somebody make me an offer! What are these things go for? Nineteen ninety-nine? I’m a very cheap man and I enjoy the inexpensive things in life. So, let’s start the bidding at one dollar. A buck for a t-shirt. We got John Cena t-shirts if you’re into that sort of thing. Just put that down there. Sheamus t-shirt, alright, I sell a Sheamus t-shirt for a quarter. This… how dare they call me unstable!”
–[Noble & Mercury appear at ringside]–
“Uh-oh, they’ve send the cruiser weight division out to get me. Oh, no! You want me to throw it? I’m not gonna throw it. It’s very valuable. I’m not gonna throw the briefcase. Okay, you guys are gonna have to stop being so intimidating if you wanna get through to me and reach me. Bring it down just a tad. If you guys want this briefcase, that’s fine, come in here and get it.”
–[Noble & Mercury back off]–
“Alright, I forgot what I was charging for these things and I stole them all anyway. So, what the hell, you want them for free?”
–[DA grabs all merch and throws it into crowd; SR comes out with security, Noble & Mercury]–
“I’m busted. I’m busted. I don’t know though, are you guys real security? Because I could have sworn you were Rosebuds last week. Alright, alright, alright, alright, I’ve had my fun. I’m sorry, alright? Take your briefcase back, alright? I don’t want any problems. Just take it. Take the case, Seth. You’re Mr. Money In The Bank. Take your case. I’m sorry. I want no problems.”
–[DA goes off through crowd; SR opens briefcase and gets slimed]–
“I have nothing to do with that. I swear. I’m sorry!” –DEAN AMBROSE.
Ambrose Promo #3:
“Mr. Ambrose, do you like to add something?
“Oh, not really, uh, just that: after we’re done with Kane and Orton tonight, Rollins is mine.
“If Seth Rollins dare show his face tonight before, during or after our match, he’s gonna beat down coming by my hands and I’m cashing in.
“Riiight. Just remember, John, nobody takes food off my plate. Not even you. See you out there.” –John Cena / DEAN AMBROSE.

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