Money can’t buy you a back door +++ The Miz and Damien Sandow should be a legit tag team +++ Cesaro loses just another title match +++ Dean Ambrose demonstrates on Noble & Mercury what Seth Rollins can expect inside Hell In A Cell
“I think I’ve proven that the loss of physics don’t apply to me. What goes up must go down. But I don’t stay down. They hit me with chairs – I got back up. They chokeslammed me and I got back up. Seth Rollins and The Authority, they curbstomped me through cinder blocks and I got back up. So, the question that becomes, why do I keep getting up? I could tell you that I’m indestructible. And that I can’t be hurt. Or I could tell you the truth: all that stuff hurts. My bones hurt; my body hurts. Fighting The Authority, standing up to The Authority can be a very painful thing. And I didn’t die out. The reason I keep getting back up is the key difference between me and the guy who came here on RAW to warn me and Seth Rollins of the dangers of ‘Hell In A Cell’, Mick Foley. Mick Foley was the Hardcore Legend, but deep down, deep down, Mick Foley was always a nice guy. I’m not a nice guy. I don’t have a loving family to go home to, and I don’t have anything else to live for except putting pain on the people who put pain on me. That hole in my stomach, that thirst for vengeance is what keeps me moving forward to ‘Hell In A Cell’! The day I’ve been waiting for ever since Seth Rollins put a knife in my back and said it was just business. This Sunday, Seth Rollins learns the cold, hard fact, no matter how fat your pockets get, you can’t take your money with you when you knee deep in your own personal hell. Seth, if you got anything to say about that, I suggest you leave your little office and you come out here and say it!” –[SR doesn’t take demands from DA and will call him out later] “You always had a way with words Seth I’ll give you that, but when that cell drops on Sunday you can’t talk your way out of nothing. I don’t care if it’s my last match, my last night in a WWE ring at Hell In A Cell. We’re gonna burn together but you, you’re gonna perish alone.” –DEAN AMBROSE.
Dean Ambrose has got a lucky boot +++ The good things from SmackDown +++ The bad things from SmackDown +++ The ugly things from SmackDown
Ambrose Promo no.1: “Where are you running for, Seth? Where are you running for, Seth? I’m just here to talk, let’s chat, brother! Let’s chat about this. I’ve finally got what I’ve been foaming at the mouth for, and that’s you trapped inside Hell In A Cell; the most demonic structure in WWE history. And I’m going to make the most of it. I’m going to turn you inside out. I’m going to rip your face clean off! I’m going to take my left boot, I’m going to jam it down your throat! I’m going to take my right boot, that’s my lucky boot, and I’m sticking that one where the sun don’t shine! And after that, after that what I’m going to do next I can’t even say on this show!” Ambrose Promo no.2: “Before I was rudely interrupted by Kane earlier, I was explaining to Seth Rollins what was going through my mind. And that’s what I am gonna do to him at Hell In A Cell… rip his face off! See, Seth Rollins thinks he’s prepared for a match with me but I got news for him: you can’t prepare yourself for the unknown. And once that cell door locks, it’s just me and Seth. Even I, I don’t really know what I am gonna do. And Kane, Kane says, he’s aggressive, says he wants to hear me scream in pain. Shrieks of horror help him sleep at night. And I think Kane has starred in one too many horror flicks. This ain’t Hollywood. This is Birmingham, Alabama! Let’s make this movie an action flick. Yippee Ki-Yay!” –DEAN AMBROSE.
It’s a crazy game / tell me who’s to blame, I’m kind of curious +++ I ain’t a betting man +++ I’ll just stand here quietly complaining +++ Speak my language +++ It’s love, brother love +++ Stamp your ticket, John +++ Here’s my gun for a barrel of fun +++ You have somebody else I think we imitate +++ I have missed you, Johnny, great to know you by my side
Ambrose Promo no.1: “There is nothing that I’d like more in this world than to be locked inside ‘Hell In A Cell’ with Seth Rollins, locked inside the devil’s playground. All that steel, all that danger, nowhere to run – just Dean Ambrose and Seth Rollins inside that cell. So I can brutalize him, pummel him so bad that he wishes he never even met me. Seth Rollins wishes that he never even heard the name ‘Dean Ambrose’. But before I get there, I get a little someone standing in my way and it’s really, really stressing me out. It’s really pissing me off, this little matter to deal with of a fifteen time WWE champion, a little matter to deal with off of the face of the WWE. I’ve got to go through John Cena first in a ‘No holds barred, contract on a pole’ match. ‘No’, I told John Cena, ‘no, I’ve no problem dropping you where you stand last week here on Raw’, and I did. Cena felt the same way on SmackDown; he did the same to me. So, it’s quite clear what The Authority is trying to do. They want me and John Cena to tear each other apart, so there’s nothing left of either of us. It’s all about protecting, protecting Golden Boy Seth Rollins. And you know what? It’s… you know, it’s fine… I decided there’s only one way to do this. I’m gonna go to ‘Hell In A Cell’. I’m gonna grab that contract off that pole. I’m gonna rib that pole down. And I’m gonna beat John Cena senseless with it. Then I’m gonna go in that cell. I’m gonna bounce Seth Rollins’ head all over that cell like it’s a basketball. And there’s nothing The Authority and there is nothing John Cena can do about it.” –[Cena comes out, gives veteran advice to shut up and be ready] “Thanks for the ‘veteran advice’, big brother. But I’ve got news for you: I am ready. I was born ready. I’ve been ready to whop your ass for years. Don’t talk to me like I’m some kind of jump and don’t come out here and act like you care about me. Don’t act like you give a damn about me. And don’t act like I should trust you for one second.” Ambrose Promo no.2: “Well, let me tell you what not to expect. Don’t expect me to go out there and be a nice guy. Don’t expect me to go out there to be nice to John Cena cause I’m not a nice guy. Triple H knows that. Triple H is knowing me for a long time. So, he should know by now when I say any time, anywhere, I mean it. If you’re big star bound, it’s a long hard ride. You know, how I see it? I get to the next stop two weeks early. I gonna put John Cena in his place two weeks early. At the ‘Hell In A Cell’ pay-per-view I’m sending Seth Rollins straight to hell. And Cena: stamp your ticket! He’ll sit right next to him. Cena and Rollins both are on the highway to hell!” –DEAN AMBROSE.
Dean Ambrose is still good at hide & seek without even trying +++ That happens when you are too dominant +++ Riding the Cyclone is more fun than teaming with John Cena +++ Kane smiling is like watching Schwarzenegger trying the same in Terminator II +++ Rusev gets a new opponent +++ The stunt double is more popular than the actor +++ Finally
“Yeah, I couldn’t sit back there any longer. I’ve been kicking something around in my head for the last hour or so and something’s really, really bothering me. See, lately John Cena –[crowd boos]– yeah, John Cena lately he’s been kinda up in my space and I don’t think I like it. John Cena is my partner tonight just like he supposed to be my partner last week on SmackDown, I thought. And then, uh, this happened.” –[replay of Cena leaving DA on SmackDown; ‘Cena Sucks’ chants] “I told John Cena ‘don’t give me a reason not to like you’. And I’m trying, John, I’m trying real hard. But before we go to the battle together tonight, why don’t you just come out here right now? And why don’t we just settle this issue face to face right now. Let’s hash it out. Please, John, indulge me with your presence.” –[Cena comes out, tells DA that he doesn’t understand him and that they are clear; Cena leaves ring again] “Yeah, we’re clear. You’re right. I was about to say the same thing to you. Cause I don’t give a crap about you. And you don’t give a crap about me. But there’s one thing we have in common, John, we don’t care what other people think of us. I don’t like you and you don’t like me. Now, that that’s all out in the open, maybe we can co-exist for one night. But if not that’s fine. I don’t care because I have no problem dropping you where you stand right now and taking on The Authority by myself.” –[Cena comes back inside ring, calls DA Einstein and admits that he has guts, he also likes to drop him and tells him ‘don’t give me a reason not to like you’; ‘Cena Sucks’ chants from the crowd] “I’m kinda hungry. I think I need to get out of here. I’m gonna hop in the Q-Train heading towards Coney Island. Maybe I’m taking a ride on the Cyclone. Maybe I’m gonna get a hotdog, check out the Wonder Wheel. Hu? Good luck tonight.” –DEAN AMBROSE.
Dean Ambrose likes to work on his body with needle and thread +++ Noble & Mercury, part 1 +++ Cesaro loses another title match +++ Noble & Mercury, part 2 +++ Luke Harper promotion +++ Noble & Mercury, part 3 +++ The Dean Ambrose Clearance Sale +++ Bo Dallas bolieves in pain +++ The Gator Role is taken literally +++ Dean Ambrose doesn’t like food sharing +++ Conspiracy talk between Randy Orton and Kane +++ Dean Ambrose does the fake pistol shot again
Ambrose Promo #1: “SEEETH! Seeeth… are you looking for this? These days every time I look at you I want to take a needle and thread and sew my eyeballs shut. Just looking at The Authority makes me absolutely sick. Seth, you used to be a man. But now, now, since you let your corporate mommy and daddy fight your battles for you, I have a message for all three of you. If you want this back… come and get it!” –DEAN AMBROSE. Ambrose Promo #2: “Eh, for those of you who were looking for me earlier, I was up in the concession stand the whole time. You walked right by me and I waved but I think you were eating a hot dog or something. Anyway, when I was up there I decided I don’t like the way The Authority runs their merchandize stands. So, tonight, right here in Chicago, we’ll have a Dean Ambrose clearance sale.” –[opens bag and puts some merch on table]– “Everything must go. Everything except for this, of course. This is priceless. In our short time together, me and this briefcase have gotten, well, we’ve gotten really close. I went through this briefcase earlier and I found some of Seth Rollins’ personal items. When we were in The Shield, we were really close, we were like brothers and I never knew you had that side to you, Seth. Now I know why you want this back so bad. But, you’re not gonna get it. Everything else though, up for sale! Somebody make me an offer! What are these things go for? Nineteen ninety-nine? I’m a very cheap man and I enjoy the inexpensive things in life. So, let’s start the bidding at one dollar. A buck for a t-shirt. We got John Cena t-shirts if you’re into that sort of thing. Just put that down there. Sheamus t-shirt, alright, I sell a Sheamus t-shirt for a quarter. This… how dare they call me unstable!” –[Noble & Mercury appear at ringside]– “Uh-oh, they’ve send the cruiser weight division out to get me. Oh, no! You want me to throw it? I’m not gonna throw it. It’s very valuable. I’m not gonna throw the briefcase. Okay, you guys are gonna have to stop being so intimidating if you wanna get through to me and reach me. Bring it down just a tad. If you guys want this briefcase, that’s fine, come in here and get it.” –[Noble & Mercury back off]– “Alright, I forgot what I was charging for these things and I stole them all anyway. So, what the hell, you want them for free?” –[DA grabs all merch and throws it into crowd; SR comes out with security, Noble & Mercury]– “I’m busted. I’m busted. I don’t know though, are you guys real security? Because I could have sworn you were Rosebuds last week. Alright, alright, alright, alright, I’ve had my fun. I’m sorry, alright? Take your briefcase back, alright? I don’t want any problems. Just take it. Take the case, Seth. You’re Mr. Money In The Bank. Take your case. I’m sorry. I want no problems.” –[DA goes off through crowd; SR opens briefcase and gets slimed]– “I have nothing to do with that. I swear. I’m sorry!” –DEAN AMBROSE. Ambrose Promo #3: “Mr. Ambrose, do you like to add something? “Oh, not really, uh, just that: after we’re done with Kane and Orton tonight, Rollins is mine. “If Seth Rollins dare show his face tonight before, during or after our match, he’s gonna beat down coming by my hands and I’m cashing in. “Riiight. Just remember, John, nobody takes food off my plate. Not even you. See you out there.” –John Cena / DEAN AMBROSE.
Bunnies can’t talk +++ Mark Henry turns heel and back face within a few minutes +++ Kofi Kingston still doesn’t bolieve +++ With the right people involved Miz TV can be very entertaining
— (…) Your skull was put into a pile of concrete what should’ve shattered your entire head. But somehow you just walked away from it. “A normal person doesn’t walk away from that. But I’m not a normal person. I’m Dean Ambrose. I might go down. But I don’t stay down. And you may not think that right now but The Authority has picked a fight that they can’t win.” — (…) What I wanna know is, I want the breaking news. You can trust me. How did you get out of the room? Did you blow it up? Did you have an accomplice? Give me the scoop. Talk to me. How did you get out? How did you pull it off? “It’s simple. There was a back door.” — A back door… that’s… That’s cheap. Thanks. That’s the big scoop? That’s… that’s it? “Yeah. I’m sorry but The Authority put me in a room with two doors. I mean, I’m not Houdini, you know. Sorry, if you feel cheated.” — Cheated? Oh, you think this makes me feel cheated? You think this is me being cheated? No, no, no, no, no! What happened on Monday Night Raw, that is The Miz getting cheated because Dolph Ziggler cheated to take my Intercontinental Championship. He cheated! He grabbed the tights! You saw it! They saw it! Dolph Ziggler knows it! The referee saw it! I will start a petition, a petition to The Authority! That is being cheated! That is what cheating is all about! Do you hear me?! Do you get it to your thick skull?! Do you understand?!! Huh?!! Do you get it… (…) “Thank you, Miz, you’ve been a great host. We see you next time on Miz TV!” –THE MIZ / DEAN AMBROSE.
Dean Ambrose likes being stomped through cinder blocks +++ Damien Sandow isn’t a very useful stunt double +++ Dean Ambrose is being held in Authority lockdown +++ No entrance for Cesaro +++ The Bunny is a serious competitor +++ Dean Ambrose miraculously comes out of the closet
“I’m not dead! Far from it. In fact, the WWE’s ugly stepchild is back. Ever since what happened to me last time you saw me I’ve been a little messed up in the head. I’ve been a little loopy. I’ve been replaying the incident over and over in my mind again and again. And the more I think about it I can appreciate the creativity of ganging up on me two-on-one and stomping my head through cinder blocks. That was pretty cool. In fact, let’s take a look at it again. Let’s take a look at it one more time. Just for me.” –[replay of Seth Rollins stomping Dean Ambrose’s head through cinder blocks]– “There it was. I gotta admit: I’m kinda flattered that The Authority would go to such great lengths to get rid of me. You know, it all kinda makes me feel special. But I’m not dead. I’m not satisfied. And I can hold a grudge. And I’m sick of The Authority protecting their little golden child Seth Rollins. I’m gonna getting sick of The Authority all together. So, tonight I am The Authority. And I am not leaving this ring until I get my hands on Seth Rollins because I never get tired of punching Seth Rollins in the face.” –[the mic goes flying; a chair makes its way into the ring; impatient sit-in; Cena comes out]– “I’m gonna be real honest with you here, John. I’m really, really, really unbothered. I really don’t like the fact that you’re standing in the ring with me right now. You’re flying real close to a plane here, brother… John… don’t give me a reason to not like you.” –[Cena explains similar agenda]– “I warned you once. Don’t get in my way.” –DEAN AMBROSE.