Rassling Ragbag 15/03/11: The fairytale of a wasted talent

I once came back to watching wrestling because of CM Punk. Then I turned my interest to Dean Ambrose. And when Punk was gone I hoped for Dean Ambrose taking over Punk’s role of the anti-establishment / anti-hero personality who causes chaos against anything, runs riot when needed and finally ends up with the WWE championship. Little did I know what was about to come from February 2014 until now.

Dean Ambrose_collage

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RAW 14/10/20: Dean Ambrose kills Puppet Dummy Seth Rollins

The Undisputed Future of the WWE has trouble with his Authority brother +++ The Miz is the biggest fanboy of Damien Sandow +++ Randy Orton really RKOs everything +++ Dean Ambrose promotes Kane’s movie +++ Apparently Seth Rollins thinks that being smart will win over being crazy in Hell In A Cell +++ Hell is evolving

AMBROSE PROMO NO.1:"What are you doing?""Just some research for our match tonight. 'See No Evil 2' starring Kane. This guy is sick, twisted, sadistic.""This is what you do? This is your plan? This is your strategy? A movie night?""Come on. See, me and you are kind of like a comic book movie. Superman teaming up with Batman. You stand for truth, justice and the American way. Nice American square jaw on you. I like to beat up scumbags, and I've been known to wear a cape. But, really, we just don't mix.""What do you even... We got a match tonight. And the three people in that match are gonna do whatever they can to take both of us out of commission before 'Hell In A Cell'. How do you gonna handle it?""Relax. This might surprise you but even that I'm not undefeated in 'Contract On A Pole' matches, handicap street fights are my specialty. So, here is how I'm gonna handle it: I throw punches at anything that moves. If they insist on taking us down, we're gonna take as many of them down with us as we can. That's how we handle it.""I like that... I like that.""Yeah...""The whole Batman thing does not fit you. You are much more like The Joker.""Why so serious?" --JOHN CENA / DEAN AMBROSE.AMBROSE PROMO NO.2:"For the last four months I've been having dreams, visions about what I would do when I finally get my hands on Seth Rollins on this Sunday. When I finally get what I've been craving. I get that no good, backstabbing, half-hair dyed, Power Ranger suit sellout inside 'Hell In A Cell'."--[DA gets Puppet Seth out off the bag]"Look at you, Seth, look what you have become. Nothing but a puppet for The Authority, doing The Authority's dirty work for a pat on the back, a pat on the head and a fat paycheck. Actually, dirty work isn't right. Dirty doesn't quite suit you because we both know that you've never liked to get your hands dirty."--[sighs while stroking Puppet Seth's hair]"So, I'm gonna do you a favour on Sunday at 'Hell In A Cell' because I don't want you to think that I don't care about you anymore, okay? The first body part of yours that I rip off inside that cell, so you'll never have to get your hands dirty again, will be your hands."--[DA rips off Puppet Seth's right hand]"See what you made me do? You think I like it? Huh? Huh? Feel good about yourself? Sold out to The Authority, huh? Huh? I mean, Seth, you're a smart guy. Look at you, you're no dummy... You should know what I do to people who screw me over. I screw them back harder."--[DA works screwdriver into Puppet Seth's mouth]"This is how it's gonna feel like for you on Sunday. And Seth, just to hammer this point home..."--[DA takes a hammer and works it on Puppet Seth's body]"... just to hammer this point home, I'm gonna tell you about how I saw something in my dream last night..."--[DA takes out saw off the bag]"I saw myself, chopping your testicles off in the middle of the 'Hell In A Cell'. And then I remembered you already sold your testicles to The Authority, so I can't do that."--[DA throws away saw, grabs tongue]"This old classic. So, let's see how much testicular fortitude you have left."--[DA goes after Puppet Seth's private parts]"Nah, you don't need to have kids anyway!"--[DA hits a piledriver on Puppet Seth; SR comes out with his bodyguard, wants to know what kind of comedy show DA wants participate]"Let's all give a big hand to the world's biggest sellout."--[DA throws Puppet Seth's hand at the real Seth; SR talks about being rich and the best part of RAW every week; DA grabs drill out of bag]"Hey, we gotta have a main event tonight and everything and I'm saving the worst for 'Hell In A Cell'. But I got no problem giving the people here in Kansas City a little early preview if you're not gonna shut your mouth!"--[SR doesn't sweat about him or HIAC; out comes Mick Foley, warns SR about physical and emotional scars; 'Thank You, Foley' chants]"Thank you, Mick. But, uh, with all due respect, hardcore legend, I lost my innocence a long time ago and more ways than one. And I'm not worried about adding more psychological scars on top of other psychological scars. Or more scars on my body on top of other scars on my body. I'm not worried about losing anymore teeth. You know what I'm saying? Nobody in this company understands me back there, alright? But you. If there's anybody on this planet who might get me just a little bit and be able to look into my eyes right now and know that I'm ready for 'Hell In A Cell'. And Seth Rollins, that's the question that you have to ask yourself Monday morning from the hospital bed: 'Was it all worth it?' Were you ready for 'Hell In A Cell'? Ask yourself. Ask yourself!" --DEAN AMBROSE.
AMBROSE PROMO NO.1:
“What are you doing?”
“Just some research for our match tonight. ‘See No Evil 2’ starring Kane. This guy is sick, twisted, sadistic.”
“This is what you do? This is your plan? This is your strategy? A movie night?”
“Come on. See, me and you are kind of like a comic book movie. Superman teaming up with Batman. You stand for truth, justice and the American way. Nice American square jaw on you. I like to beat up scumbags, and I’ve been known to wear a cape. But, really, we just don’t mix.”
“What do you even… We got a match tonight. And the three people in that match are gonna do whatever they can to take both of us out of commission before ‘Hell In A Cell’. How do you gonna handle it?”
“Relax. This might surprise you but even that I’m not undefeated in ‘Contract On A Pole’ matches, handicap street fights are my specialty. So, here is how I’m gonna handle it: I throw punches at anything that moves. If they insist on taking us down, we’re gonna take as many of them down with us as we can. That’s how we handle it.”
“I like that… I like that.”
“Yeah…”
“The whole Batman thing does not fit you. You are much more like The Joker.”
“Why so serious?” –JOHN CENA / DEAN AMBROSE.
AMBROSE PROMO NO.2:
“For the last four months I’ve been having dreams, visions about what I would do when I finally get my hands on Seth Rollins on this Sunday. When I finally get what I’ve been craving. I get that no good, backstabbing, half-hair dyed, Power Ranger suit sellout inside ‘Hell In A Cell’.”
–[DA gets Puppet Seth out off the bag]
“Look at you, Seth, look what you have become. Nothing but a puppet for The Authority, doing The Authority’s dirty work for a pat on the back, a pat on the head and a fat paycheck. Actually, dirty work isn’t right. Dirty doesn’t quite suit you because we both know that you’ve never liked to get your hands dirty.”
–[sighs while stroking Puppet Seth’s hair]
“So, I’m gonna do you a favour on Sunday at ‘Hell In A Cell’ because I don’t want you to think that I don’t care about you anymore, okay? The first body part of yours that I rip off inside that cell, so you’ll never have to get your hands dirty again, will be your hands.”
–[DA rips off Puppet Seth’s right hand]
“See what you made me do? You think I like it? Huh? Huh? Feel good about yourself? Sold out to The Authority, huh? Huh? I mean, Seth, you’re a smart guy. Look at you, you’re no dummy… You should know what I do to people who screw me over. I screw them back harder.”
–[DA works screwdriver into Puppet Seth’s mouth]
“This is how it’s gonna feel like for you on Sunday. And Seth, just to hammer this point home…”
–[DA takes a hammer and works it on Puppet Seth’s body]
“… just to hammer this point home, I’m gonna tell you about how I saw something in my dream last night…”
–[DA takes out saw off the bag]
“I saw myself, chopping your testicles off in the middle of the ‘Hell In A Cell’. And then I remembered you already sold your testicles to The Authority, so I can’t do that.”
–[DA throws away saw, grabs tongue]
“This old classic. So, let’s see how much testicular fortitude you have left.”
–[DA goes after Puppet Seth’s private parts]
“Nah, you don’t need to have kids anyway!”
–[DA hits a piledriver on Puppet Seth; SR comes out with his bodyguard, wants to know what kind of comedy show DA wants participate]
“Let’s all give a big hand to the world’s biggest sellout.”
–[DA throws Puppet Seth’s hand at the real Seth; SR talks about being rich and the best part of RAW every week; DA grabs drill out of bag]
“Hey, we gotta have a main event tonight and everything and I’m saving the worst for ‘Hell In A Cell’. But I got no problem giving the people here in Kansas City a little early preview if you’re not gonna shut your mouth!”
–[SR doesn’t sweat about him or HIAC; out comes Mick Foley, warns SR about physical and emotional scars; ‘Thank You, Foley’ chants]
“Thank you, Mick. But, uh, with all due respect, hardcore legend, I lost my innocence a long time ago and more ways than one. And I’m not worried about adding more psychological scars on top of other psychological scars. Or more scars on my body on top of other scars on my body. I’m not worried about losing anymore teeth. You know what I’m saying? Nobody in this company understands me back there, alright? But you. If there’s anybody on this planet who might get me just a little bit and be able to look into my eyes right now and know that I’m ready for ‘Hell In A Cell’. And Seth Rollins, that’s the question that you have to ask yourself Monday morning from the hospital bed: ‘Was it all worth it?’ Were you ready for ‘Hell In A Cell’? Ask yourself. Ask yourself!” –DEAN AMBROSE.

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RAW 14/09/29: Dean Ambrose has to part with the briefcase but he leaves something special behind

Dean Ambrose likes to work on his body with needle and thread +++ Noble & Mercury, part 1 +++ Cesaro loses another title match +++ Noble & Mercury, part 2 +++ Luke Harper promotion +++ Noble & Mercury, part 3 +++ The Dean Ambrose Clearance Sale +++ Bo Dallas bolieves in pain +++ The Gator Role is taken literally +++ Dean Ambrose doesn’t like food sharing +++ Conspiracy talk between Randy Orton and Kane +++ Dean Ambrose does the fake pistol shot again

Ambrose Promo #1:
“SEEETH! Seeeth… are you looking for this? These days every time I look at you I want to take a needle and thread and sew my eyeballs shut. Just looking at The Authority makes me absolutely sick. Seth, you used to be a man. But now, now, since you let your corporate mommy and daddy fight your battles for you, I have a message for all three of you. If you want this back… come and get it!” –DEAN AMBROSE.
Ambrose Promo #2:
“Eh, for those of you who were looking for me earlier, I was up in the concession stand the whole time. You walked right by me and I waved but I think you were eating a hot dog or something. Anyway, when I was up there I decided I don’t like the way The Authority runs their merchandize stands. So, tonight, right here in Chicago, we’ll have a Dean Ambrose clearance sale.”
–[opens bag and puts some merch on table]–
“Everything must go. Everything except for this, of course. This is priceless. In our short time together, me and this briefcase have gotten, well, we’ve gotten really close. I went through this briefcase earlier and I found some of Seth Rollins’ personal items. When we were in The Shield, we were really close, we were like brothers and I never knew you had that side to you, Seth. Now I know why you want this back so bad. But, you’re not gonna get it. Everything else though, up for sale! Somebody make me an offer! What are these things go for? Nineteen ninety-nine? I’m a very cheap man and I enjoy the inexpensive things in life. So, let’s start the bidding at one dollar. A buck for a t-shirt. We got John Cena t-shirts if you’re into that sort of thing. Just put that down there. Sheamus t-shirt, alright, I sell a Sheamus t-shirt for a quarter. This… how dare they call me unstable!”
–[Noble & Mercury appear at ringside]–
“Uh-oh, they’ve send the cruiser weight division out to get me. Oh, no! You want me to throw it? I’m not gonna throw it. It’s very valuable. I’m not gonna throw the briefcase. Okay, you guys are gonna have to stop being so intimidating if you wanna get through to me and reach me. Bring it down just a tad. If you guys want this briefcase, that’s fine, come in here and get it.”
–[Noble & Mercury back off]–
“Alright, I forgot what I was charging for these things and I stole them all anyway. So, what the hell, you want them for free?”
–[DA grabs all merch and throws it into crowd; SR comes out with security, Noble & Mercury]–
“I’m busted. I’m busted. I don’t know though, are you guys real security? Because I could have sworn you were Rosebuds last week. Alright, alright, alright, alright, I’ve had my fun. I’m sorry, alright? Take your briefcase back, alright? I don’t want any problems. Just take it. Take the case, Seth. You’re Mr. Money In The Bank. Take your case. I’m sorry. I want no problems.”
–[DA goes off through crowd; SR opens briefcase and gets slimed]–
“I have nothing to do with that. I swear. I’m sorry!” –DEAN AMBROSE.
Ambrose Promo #3:
“Mr. Ambrose, do you like to add something?
“Oh, not really, uh, just that: after we’re done with Kane and Orton tonight, Rollins is mine.
“If Seth Rollins dare show his face tonight before, during or after our match, he’s gonna beat down coming by my hands and I’m cashing in.
“Riiight. Just remember, John, nobody takes food off my plate. Not even you. See you out there.” –John Cena / DEAN AMBROSE.

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RAW 14/09/08: It’s the Season Premiere and Seth Rollins apparently wanted to make it extra dirty

Kane and Seth Rollins share their orgasm about the start of RAW +++ Dolph Ziggler has got to share some interesting private photos from The Miz +++ Why do people still chant for CM Punk? +++ Cena Sucks! Cena Sucks! Cena Sucks! (continue for as many times as you like) +++ WWE should do a remake of “The Full Monty” with Cesaro in the lead role +++ Adrian Neville, Sami Zayn, Tyson Kidd and Tyler Breeze are taking over +++ The Jerry Springer Show finishes like any other Jerry Springer Show +++ The Season Premiere almost finishes with a terrible accident

Dean Ambrose


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RAW 14/09/01: Don’t mess with the bunny -OR- Some conspiracy theories about Dean Ambrose

I’m bored already +++ Mizzz’s entourage grows in numbers +++ Nikki Bella brings up some whiny home stories +++ I want to see the WWE Heavyweight Championship belt – dead or alive +++ The bunny saves RAW +++ We want Rollins

Dean Ambrose


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RAW 14/08/18: What more fitting than Dean Ambrose getting lost in Las Vegas?

Steph! Steph! Steph +++ Mizzz isn’t an A-lister – he’s an A-hole +++ Seth Rollins forgets to name his challengers for the Ice Bucket Challenge +++ AJ Lee dedicates her life to Paige +++ Suplex – repeat, cont. +++ Cesaro impersonates Muhammad Ali +++ Sheamus is an incredible U.S. champ +++ It’s a Falls Count Anywhere match +++ Kendos, Chairs, and a Table +++ Charles Robinson has got a déjà-vu +++ This is awesome3 +++ Dean Ambrose’s head is harder than cinder blocks

“What? It’s for charity.” –DEAN AMBROSE.

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SummerSlam: Predictions

Dean Ambrose_collage

My expectations for this show are exorbitant! I’m telling you. One of the reasons is that I’ll watch it live and go to work just two hours later. So, me basically putting myself in some sort of a jet lag needs to be worth it. Much will depend on Dean Ambrose vs Seth Rollins and I hope it is scheduled for as late as possible. On paper, most matches look interesting but most importantly are unique and not done already for a couple of times. This really could be a great PPV. After the disappointment that was Battleground, improvement isn’t very hard this time anyway.

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