The Wrestling Week That Was, no. 5: Cesaro hasn’t won against John Cena and he doesn’t care because he once won against a far better man

I’m already looking forward to NXT TakeOver: Brooklyn and SummerSlam the very next day. It will be a hell of a weekend. The only bad thing about is, I’m not looking forward to watching Dean Ambrose there. It will be all about Cesaro, William Regal and Kevin Owens for me. And this past week just further proved it.

William Regal collage


Read more

Advertisements

SmackDown 15/02/26: Dean Ambrose hopefully is part of a persiflage by WWE on WWE itself -OR- The wee bits of everyday racism in WWE summarized by R-Truth

If WWE meant their treatment of the Intercontinental title as a persiflage of their own recent bookings of the very title, then well done so far. But we will only really know when WrestleMania 31 is done and dusted. Until then I think it was just another stupid booking to make Dean Ambrose look ridiculous. And this way it wasn’t even funny – and kinda racist.

Dean Ambrose_collage


Read more

RAW 15/02/16: Dean Ambrose explains Wade Barrett in his own special way why it’s not that bad to be crazy

There was variation. It was funny but not foolish. And there was actually a good, long match again. Looks like Dean Ambrose – for once – is able to use his crazy gimmick for something not that crazy.

"This just in: Bad News Barrett keeps ducking Dean Ambrose's challenge for an Intercontinental title match. Sources say Ambrose has already defeated one former Intercontinental champion last week in Curtis Axel and reportedly is going to defeat another former Intercontinental champion, Luke Harper, tonight. In other related news tonight Bad News Barrett will sign this contract to face Dean Ambrose at WWE FastLane for the Intercontinental championship, whether he likes it or not. To see this historic signing transpire, stay tuned. Back to you, Carlos." --DEAN AMBROSE.
“This just in: Bad News Barrett keeps ducking Dean Ambrose’s challenge for an Intercontinental title match. Sources say Ambrose has already defeated one former Intercontinental champion last week in Curtis Axel and reportedly is going to defeat another former Intercontinental champion, Luke Harper, tonight. In other related news tonight Bad News Barrett will sign this contract to face Dean Ambrose at WWE FastLane for the Intercontinental championship, whether he likes it or not. To see this historic signing transpire, stay tuned. Back to you, Carlos.” –DEAN AMBROSE.

Read more

Hell In A Cell 14/10/26: Dean Ambrose vs Seth Rollins needed a clean finish and we will get one at Wrestlemania XL

Damien Sandow and The Miz declare love for each other +++ Cesaro loses another title ma… oh, ffs, stop it +++ Using the Yes! Lock was instantly punished +++ And now send The Ascension, please! +++ Cena needs to learn to stay down after being hit for like fifty times by a so-called ‘finisher’ +++ I nearly died laughing +++ And I like Rusev even more +++ Surprise, surprise +++ Homages and reminiscences but still very original stuff

"Earlier today I was asked about my 'Hell In A Cell' match tonight with Seth Rollins, and only one thing came to mind... Halloween. Here in the States, Halloween is this Friday. The most popular costume this year? The Seth Rollins. Because when I'm done with Seth Rollins inside 'Hell In A Cell' tonight, he's gonna look like a zombie from 'The Walking Dead' had sex with Dracula's grandmother and then nine months later she gave birth to something that looked like a combination of roadkill and oatmeal on top of a pogo stick. You know what I'm saying? You understand me? It means I don't give a damn. Tonight Mr. Money In The Bank pays the price for his actions, and we both burn in hell." --DEAN AMBROSE.
“Earlier today I was asked about my ‘Hell In A Cell’ match tonight with Seth Rollins, and only one thing came to mind… Halloween. Here in the States, Halloween is this Friday. The most popular costume this year? The Seth Rollins. Because when I’m done with Seth Rollins inside ‘Hell In A Cell’ tonight, he’s gonna look like a zombie from ‘The Walking Dead’ had sex with Dracula’s grandmother and then nine months later she gave birth to something that looked like a combination of roadkill and oatmeal on top of a pogo stick. You know what I’m saying? You understand me? It means I don’t give a damn. Tonight Mr. Money In The Bank pays the price for his actions, and we both burn in hell.” –DEAN AMBROSE.

Read more

Hell In A Cell 2014: Predictions

Dean Ambrose_collage

After SummerSlam this is probably my most anticipated Pay-Per-View this year because of Dean Ambrose vs Seth Rollins in Hell In A Cell. For me there is just one main event even if WWE tries hard to sell this so-called double main event. According to a poll on the WWE site itself three out of four fans are more exited for this very match. And really: it’s not surprising because we have seen this other match a hundred times already. So, I’m trying to do a prediction post once again. But beware: I’m not really good at predictions.

Read more

SmackDown 14/10/24: Dean Ambrose is already in the right spirit for Hell In A Cell

Money can’t buy you a back door +++ The Miz and Damien Sandow should be a legit tag team +++ Cesaro loses just another title match +++ Dean Ambrose demonstrates on Noble & Mercury what Seth Rollins can expect inside Hell In A Cell

"I think I've proven that the loss of physics don't apply to me. What goes up must go down. But I don't stay down. They hit me with chairs – I got back up. They chokeslammed me and I got back up. Seth Rollins and The Authority, they curbstomped me through cinder blocks and I got back up. So, the question that becomes, why do I keep getting up? I could tell you that I'm indestructible. And that I can't be hurt. Or I could tell you the truth: all that stuff hurts. My bones hurt; my body hurts. Fighting The Authority, standing up to The Authority can be a very painful thing. And I didn't die out. The reason I keep getting back up is the key difference between me and the guy who came here on RAW to warn me and Seth Rollins of the dangers of 'Hell In A Cell', Mick Foley. Mick Foley was the Hardcore Legend, but deep down, deep down, Mick Foley was always a nice guy. I’m not a nice guy. I don’t have a loving family to go home to, and I don’t have anything else to live for except putting pain on the people who put pain on me. That hole in my stomach, that thirst for vengeance is what keeps me moving forward to 'Hell In A Cell'! The day I've been waiting for ever since Seth Rollins put a knife in my back and said it was just business. This Sunday, Seth Rollins learns the cold, hard fact, no matter how fat your pockets get, you can't take your money with you when you knee deep in your own personal hell. Seth, if you got anything to say about that, I suggest you leave your little office and you come out here and say it!"--[SR doesn't take demands from DA and will call him out later]"You always had a way with words Seth I’ll give you that, but when that cell drops on Sunday you can’t talk your way out of nothing. I don’t care if it’s my last match, my last night in a WWE ring at Hell In A Cell. We're gonna burn together but you, you're gonna perish alone." --DEAN AMBROSE.
“I think I’ve proven that the loss of physics don’t apply to me. What goes up must go down. But I don’t stay down. They hit me with chairs – I got back up. They chokeslammed me and I got back up. Seth Rollins and The Authority, they curbstomped me through cinder blocks and I got back up. So, the question that becomes, why do I keep getting up? I could tell you that I’m indestructible. And that I can’t be hurt. Or I could tell you the truth: all that stuff hurts. My bones hurt; my body hurts. Fighting The Authority, standing up to The Authority can be a very painful thing. And I didn’t die out. The reason I keep getting back up is the key difference between me and the guy who came here on RAW to warn me and Seth Rollins of the dangers of ‘Hell In A Cell’, Mick Foley. Mick Foley was the Hardcore Legend, but deep down, deep down, Mick Foley was always a nice guy. I’m not a nice guy. I don’t have a loving family to go home to, and I don’t have anything else to live for except putting pain on the people who put pain on me. That hole in my stomach, that thirst for vengeance is what keeps me moving forward to ‘Hell In A Cell’! The day I’ve been waiting for ever since Seth Rollins put a knife in my back and said it was just business. This Sunday, Seth Rollins learns the cold, hard fact, no matter how fat your pockets get, you can’t take your money with you when you knee deep in your own personal hell. Seth, if you got anything to say about that, I suggest you leave your little office and you come out here and say it!”
–[SR doesn’t take demands from DA and will call him out later]
“You always had a way with words Seth I’ll give you that, but when that cell drops on Sunday you can’t talk your way out of nothing. I don’t care if it’s my last match, my last night in a WWE ring at Hell In A Cell. We’re gonna burn together but you, you’re gonna perish alone.” –DEAN AMBROSE.

Read more

RAW 14/10/20: Dean Ambrose kills Puppet Dummy Seth Rollins

The Undisputed Future of the WWE has trouble with his Authority brother +++ The Miz is the biggest fanboy of Damien Sandow +++ Randy Orton really RKOs everything +++ Dean Ambrose promotes Kane’s movie +++ Apparently Seth Rollins thinks that being smart will win over being crazy in Hell In A Cell +++ Hell is evolving

AMBROSE PROMO NO.1:"What are you doing?""Just some research for our match tonight. 'See No Evil 2' starring Kane. This guy is sick, twisted, sadistic.""This is what you do? This is your plan? This is your strategy? A movie night?""Come on. See, me and you are kind of like a comic book movie. Superman teaming up with Batman. You stand for truth, justice and the American way. Nice American square jaw on you. I like to beat up scumbags, and I've been known to wear a cape. But, really, we just don't mix.""What do you even... We got a match tonight. And the three people in that match are gonna do whatever they can to take both of us out of commission before 'Hell In A Cell'. How do you gonna handle it?""Relax. This might surprise you but even that I'm not undefeated in 'Contract On A Pole' matches, handicap street fights are my specialty. So, here is how I'm gonna handle it: I throw punches at anything that moves. If they insist on taking us down, we're gonna take as many of them down with us as we can. That's how we handle it.""I like that... I like that.""Yeah...""The whole Batman thing does not fit you. You are much more like The Joker.""Why so serious?" --JOHN CENA / DEAN AMBROSE.AMBROSE PROMO NO.2:"For the last four months I've been having dreams, visions about what I would do when I finally get my hands on Seth Rollins on this Sunday. When I finally get what I've been craving. I get that no good, backstabbing, half-hair dyed, Power Ranger suit sellout inside 'Hell In A Cell'."--[DA gets Puppet Seth out off the bag]"Look at you, Seth, look what you have become. Nothing but a puppet for The Authority, doing The Authority's dirty work for a pat on the back, a pat on the head and a fat paycheck. Actually, dirty work isn't right. Dirty doesn't quite suit you because we both know that you've never liked to get your hands dirty."--[sighs while stroking Puppet Seth's hair]"So, I'm gonna do you a favour on Sunday at 'Hell In A Cell' because I don't want you to think that I don't care about you anymore, okay? The first body part of yours that I rip off inside that cell, so you'll never have to get your hands dirty again, will be your hands."--[DA rips off Puppet Seth's right hand]"See what you made me do? You think I like it? Huh? Huh? Feel good about yourself? Sold out to The Authority, huh? Huh? I mean, Seth, you're a smart guy. Look at you, you're no dummy... You should know what I do to people who screw me over. I screw them back harder."--[DA works screwdriver into Puppet Seth's mouth]"This is how it's gonna feel like for you on Sunday. And Seth, just to hammer this point home..."--[DA takes a hammer and works it on Puppet Seth's body]"... just to hammer this point home, I'm gonna tell you about how I saw something in my dream last night..."--[DA takes out saw off the bag]"I saw myself, chopping your testicles off in the middle of the 'Hell In A Cell'. And then I remembered you already sold your testicles to The Authority, so I can't do that."--[DA throws away saw, grabs tongue]"This old classic. So, let's see how much testicular fortitude you have left."--[DA goes after Puppet Seth's private parts]"Nah, you don't need to have kids anyway!"--[DA hits a piledriver on Puppet Seth; SR comes out with his bodyguard, wants to know what kind of comedy show DA wants participate]"Let's all give a big hand to the world's biggest sellout."--[DA throws Puppet Seth's hand at the real Seth; SR talks about being rich and the best part of RAW every week; DA grabs drill out of bag]"Hey, we gotta have a main event tonight and everything and I'm saving the worst for 'Hell In A Cell'. But I got no problem giving the people here in Kansas City a little early preview if you're not gonna shut your mouth!"--[SR doesn't sweat about him or HIAC; out comes Mick Foley, warns SR about physical and emotional scars; 'Thank You, Foley' chants]"Thank you, Mick. But, uh, with all due respect, hardcore legend, I lost my innocence a long time ago and more ways than one. And I'm not worried about adding more psychological scars on top of other psychological scars. Or more scars on my body on top of other scars on my body. I'm not worried about losing anymore teeth. You know what I'm saying? Nobody in this company understands me back there, alright? But you. If there's anybody on this planet who might get me just a little bit and be able to look into my eyes right now and know that I'm ready for 'Hell In A Cell'. And Seth Rollins, that's the question that you have to ask yourself Monday morning from the hospital bed: 'Was it all worth it?' Were you ready for 'Hell In A Cell'? Ask yourself. Ask yourself!" --DEAN AMBROSE.
AMBROSE PROMO NO.1:
“What are you doing?”
“Just some research for our match tonight. ‘See No Evil 2’ starring Kane. This guy is sick, twisted, sadistic.”
“This is what you do? This is your plan? This is your strategy? A movie night?”
“Come on. See, me and you are kind of like a comic book movie. Superman teaming up with Batman. You stand for truth, justice and the American way. Nice American square jaw on you. I like to beat up scumbags, and I’ve been known to wear a cape. But, really, we just don’t mix.”
“What do you even… We got a match tonight. And the three people in that match are gonna do whatever they can to take both of us out of commission before ‘Hell In A Cell’. How do you gonna handle it?”
“Relax. This might surprise you but even that I’m not undefeated in ‘Contract On A Pole’ matches, handicap street fights are my specialty. So, here is how I’m gonna handle it: I throw punches at anything that moves. If they insist on taking us down, we’re gonna take as many of them down with us as we can. That’s how we handle it.”
“I like that… I like that.”
“Yeah…”
“The whole Batman thing does not fit you. You are much more like The Joker.”
“Why so serious?” –JOHN CENA / DEAN AMBROSE.
AMBROSE PROMO NO.2:
“For the last four months I’ve been having dreams, visions about what I would do when I finally get my hands on Seth Rollins on this Sunday. When I finally get what I’ve been craving. I get that no good, backstabbing, half-hair dyed, Power Ranger suit sellout inside ‘Hell In A Cell’.”
–[DA gets Puppet Seth out off the bag]
“Look at you, Seth, look what you have become. Nothing but a puppet for The Authority, doing The Authority’s dirty work for a pat on the back, a pat on the head and a fat paycheck. Actually, dirty work isn’t right. Dirty doesn’t quite suit you because we both know that you’ve never liked to get your hands dirty.”
–[sighs while stroking Puppet Seth’s hair]
“So, I’m gonna do you a favour on Sunday at ‘Hell In A Cell’ because I don’t want you to think that I don’t care about you anymore, okay? The first body part of yours that I rip off inside that cell, so you’ll never have to get your hands dirty again, will be your hands.”
–[DA rips off Puppet Seth’s right hand]
“See what you made me do? You think I like it? Huh? Huh? Feel good about yourself? Sold out to The Authority, huh? Huh? I mean, Seth, you’re a smart guy. Look at you, you’re no dummy… You should know what I do to people who screw me over. I screw them back harder.”
–[DA works screwdriver into Puppet Seth’s mouth]
“This is how it’s gonna feel like for you on Sunday. And Seth, just to hammer this point home…”
–[DA takes a hammer and works it on Puppet Seth’s body]
“… just to hammer this point home, I’m gonna tell you about how I saw something in my dream last night…”
–[DA takes out saw off the bag]
“I saw myself, chopping your testicles off in the middle of the ‘Hell In A Cell’. And then I remembered you already sold your testicles to The Authority, so I can’t do that.”
–[DA throws away saw, grabs tongue]
“This old classic. So, let’s see how much testicular fortitude you have left.”
–[DA goes after Puppet Seth’s private parts]
“Nah, you don’t need to have kids anyway!”
–[DA hits a piledriver on Puppet Seth; SR comes out with his bodyguard, wants to know what kind of comedy show DA wants participate]
“Let’s all give a big hand to the world’s biggest sellout.”
–[DA throws Puppet Seth’s hand at the real Seth; SR talks about being rich and the best part of RAW every week; DA grabs drill out of bag]
“Hey, we gotta have a main event tonight and everything and I’m saving the worst for ‘Hell In A Cell’. But I got no problem giving the people here in Kansas City a little early preview if you’re not gonna shut your mouth!”
–[SR doesn’t sweat about him or HIAC; out comes Mick Foley, warns SR about physical and emotional scars; ‘Thank You, Foley’ chants]
“Thank you, Mick. But, uh, with all due respect, hardcore legend, I lost my innocence a long time ago and more ways than one. And I’m not worried about adding more psychological scars on top of other psychological scars. Or more scars on my body on top of other scars on my body. I’m not worried about losing anymore teeth. You know what I’m saying? Nobody in this company understands me back there, alright? But you. If there’s anybody on this planet who might get me just a little bit and be able to look into my eyes right now and know that I’m ready for ‘Hell In A Cell’. And Seth Rollins, that’s the question that you have to ask yourself Monday morning from the hospital bed: ‘Was it all worth it?’ Were you ready for ‘Hell In A Cell’? Ask yourself. Ask yourself!” –DEAN AMBROSE.

Read more