There is nothing worse than Mizzz TV +++ After not even a minute Cesaro bleeds from the head +++ For a second I hoped that Dean Ambrose would beat up JBL +++ The Pendulum Lariat still isn’t a clothesline +++ Cesaro loves Kendo sticks / Dean Ambrose loves chairs +++ Cesaro loves to sell his bad loser gimmick +++ Seth Rollins wants Dean Ambrose to stay down +++ Paige wants to be friends with anyone to beat them up +++ Apparently Triple H bailed Stephanie out of jail

“You can do this all night, Cesaro!” –DEAN AMBROSE.


There is nothing worse than Mizzz TV

The good thing about SmackDown probably is that we don’t have to stand around ten minutes of The Authority telling us all about business, how a wrestling company is run the right way and what wrestlers we should like. The bad thing about SmackDown is that we get lengthy and too many replays from the latest four episodes of RAW. But there is also a good aspect in this one, because since SmackDown isn’t live I can skip these segments. So, SmackDown for me runs just over one hour of original stuff.

But apparently the original stuff wanted to prove a point with me, I guess. Proving that I couldn’t watch all the original stuff without getting sleepy and pass away at some point. I mean, alright, the first match between The Usos and Rybaxel was okay, I think. Almost nine minutes that felt like half an hour with the growing feeling inside of me that I actually could like Ryback if he was used properly. He could be made into a huge threat for Super Reigns for example. He’s definitely stronger and bigger than your new big star. But he’s still stuck into this ridiculous tag team with Curtis Axel. Actually the two of them are only together because WWE creatives don’t have a clue what to do with them. Just imagine Ryback vs. Brock Lesnar. That would be one massive match – literally. But, no, Brock Lesnar has to go after Super Cena of all people. I really hope, that Super Cena indeed will leave WWE for Hollywood. I wouldn’t cry out one single drop of a tear if that would happen.

But back to this tag team match. Of course, The Usos had to win in the end, apparently by cheating because no-one realized that The Uso, who got the win, wasn’t the legal man.

But the big bird was shot with MizTV that was up next. I mean, Mizzz does a pretty well job as a heel – he’s hated and gets many boos. But for me, I need to like hating a heel – like Seth Rollins for example. He’s pretty much a real scumbag as of right now. But every encounter he has with Dean Ambrose, I just don’t want to miss. Scumbag Seth Rollins is very much needed for this feud and I love to hate him. But Mizzz? I just really don’t care. And everything just went ridiculous when the man apparently interviewed his Mum, asking her who was her favourite wrestler. And she told him it was Roman Reigns. Is there any segment in WWE we don’t get at least one reference about him? You know that too much isn’t good in the end but simply too much, right, WWE?

At least, Mizzz was interrupted during his acceptance speech for the now meaningless Intercontinental Championship title (I hope Wade Barrett comes back very soon) but by someone who’s annoying at the very same amount as Mizzz: Bo Dallas. Mizzz was about to ask Bo out for a date when both of them were interrupted by Dolph Ziggler which led to a match between Ziggler and Bo Dallas with Mizzz on commentary. I tried very hard to take as less notice as possible. Bo Dallas won after around four minutes with a lot of help by Mizzz. Bit of beating on Ziggler afterwards. Somehow I can see Ziggler getting the IC title from Mizzz at Summerslam just for Wade Barrett to take it back from Ziggler when he returns from injury. But why not Ziggler in the first place? I mean, the man doesn’t take anything for me but obviously there are a lot of people who like him. So, it wouldn’t have hurt to make him stand-in champion in place for Mizzz who was only made champion to promote his movie no-one really wants to see.

But I’m writing far too much on this segment. A few other words on the next one: Super Reigns was seen backstage who apparently calls himself now “The One”. Alright.

After not even a minute Cesaro bleeds from the head

Dean Ambrose vs Cesaro Their first match at RAW was already a good one but right when I had read the spoilers for this episode of SmackDown early Tuesday, I knew that this match would even top that one. I mean, what could be better than a No Disqualification match between two men capable of ruthless aggression? It’s kinda strange maybe to look forward to a match full of beating, hard falls into chairs and kicks right to the head that would certainly cause bad damage if done just a bit wrong. But this is the part I love most about wrestling: there are sometimes matches you totally forget that it isn’t that real it looks like. I know that Dean Ambrose and Cesaro are friends in real life but, hell, did they make me believe that they hate each other last night! And to hype me for this match even more, WWE created this little double feature as a teaser. They already did that with Dean Ambrose vs Randy Orton. So, it looks like WWE very well knows which matches are the main events of their shows, even when these matches aren’t placed as main events.

Their match was right after the commercial break and Dean Ambrose once again came out to a huge pop. I’ve already said it but I like to repeat myself on this point but Dean Ambrose’s theme song really fits him, especially the very beginning, this rolling on motorbike sound. The hype I already had for this match grew even stronger. And when Cesaro’s theme hit, that feeling was even boiling over. Can’t be made better, really!

And the match itself started just like that: on this very top of exuberant speed that left Cesaro with some tiny bleeding from his head after Dean Ambrose needed a little pause from hitting and stomping on him. Side note here: Drake Younger as the referee of this match was just the extra bonus, the topping on the cake.

For a second I hoped that Dean Ambrose would beat up JBL

Dean Ambrose vs Cesaro Dean Ambrose vs Cesaro Both men didn’t waste any time to make clear that it was indeed a No Disqualification match but at the same time hyped the masses for the initial use of some toys, that were Kendo sticks, chairs and one ring bell. First it was Dean Ambrose to have a look under the ring to bring to light some Kendos but wasn’t really satisfied. His face was lighted in joy when he got himself some chairs, finally chooses one but Cesaro hit him to keep him outside of the ring. Cesaro then joined Dean Ambrose outside the ring but also his first attempt to hit Dean with a Kendo failed. Instead he was sent right into the timekeepers area with Dean Ambrose shortly following after to beat him up there. Michael Cole’s commentary on this basically summarized what Dean Ambrose is all about:

“What makes [Dean Ambrose] so dangerous is, that he doesn’t care what he does to his own body.”

And to just prove him right, Dean Ambrose picked up the ring bell and jumped with it in hand right on Cesaro. Always the fast thinking, creative, slightly deranged mind! And for a second I really thought, Dean Ambrose would make JBL shut his mouth for some minutes when he made his way on top of the announcers table with a Kendo stick. JBL basically lashes out on every little aspect of Dean Ambrose. His commentary character is supposed to be a heel – don’t get me wrong – but he still praises and hypes Super Cena and Super Reigns. Maybe because they are out of this world, who knows. But, in belittling Dean Ambrose via JBL’s trash talk, WWE nothing else does but hype Dean Ambrose even more. Because, everything JBL says about Dean Ambrose is just rubbish and basically wrong. So, because the WWE Universe has got eyes that can see, they jump Dean Ambrose’s ship – one by one, and finally every one of it. That might be WWE strategy or just one unfortunate accident but it will happen.

The Pendulum Lariat still isn’t a clothesline

How is this still considered as wrestling...
How is this still considered as wrestling…
... not to mention PG?
… not to mention PG?
Cesaro was the first one who was able to finally hit Dean Ambrose with the Kendo stick when Dean Ambrose made his way back to him from the announcers table. And then their ruthless aggression against each other was unleashed. First it was all about Cesaro to get the upper hand and hitting Dean Ambrose with all he’s got. But first it was time for some creative hold when Cesaro placed a chair over Dean Ambrose to sit on it and bend Dean Ambrose’s upper body back with a Kendo stick. All the children in the audience must have experienced their first hardcore porn here. I mean, how is this even considered as PG? Not that I really care but just this one tiny scene gave me so many other ideas than just watching it as a wrestling match! And these filthy thoughts continued after Dean Ambrose had freed himself to smile at Cesaro to tell him that he could do this all night. After Cesaro was sure that this would be the end of Dean Ambrose. And I wouldn’t mind watching this all night. You very much can believe that!

Dean Ambrose vs Cesaro After that little calm but hot scene, Cesaro hit Dean Ambrose on his shoulder with the Kendo for a few times and I wondered not for the first time if this ‘injured’ shoulder is now some permanent stipulation for Dean Ambrose. You know, not just slightly deranged mind but also messed up body. WWE even uploaded one photograph picturing Dean Ambrose in a straitjacket. As for their match at Summerslam, Dean Ambrose vs Seth Rollins needs to have at least one stipulation. And what would be more perfect than a Steel Cage No Disqualification Straitjacket match? I think, every week that goes by I have another stipulation in mind that should make it into this match. And guess what? Yes, I’m afraid that WWE somehow will make it possible to even cancel this match, too. I’m really afraid that Dean Ambrose only gets Seth Rollins for coming Wrestlemania 31. Everything is possible right now!

Dean Ambrose vs Cesaro To say that Dean Ambrose had much fun during this match would be a huge understatement. Yes, he was thrown into two tables first but when he was supposed to do the same to Cesaro, he brought out an evil smile while reversed the chairs so they stood back to back to each other. Throwing Cesaro back first into this arrangement would have definitely been the end of Cesaro but he blocked the move first, then attempted to throw Dean into it. That was the moment when Dean finally had enough. So, he hit Cesaro with one chair and then threw him back first into the other one. The chair was of no use anymore after this treatment.

Dean Ambrose vs Cesaro And there was another successful use of the Pendulum Lariat by Dean Ambrose. I simply love the fact that he pulls it out from basically out of nowhere but you can always sense it when it’s coming. And this one at SmackDown was perfection – very powerful and Dean Ambrose threw all of himself into it. Plus: it was still a Lariat, no Clothesline. I’m almost sure that JBL and Michael Cole know that as well but to keep their commentary simple they call everything a clothesline that is a move with an arm to the upper part of the body of an opponent.

Cesaro loves Kendo sticks / Dean Ambrose loves chairs

Dean Ambrose vs Cesaro Dean Ambrose vs Cesaro Action finally continued outside the ring when Dean Ambrose suicidal dived through the ropes to hit Cesaro and gift both men some kind of rest for the showdown. Dean Ambrose recovered quickly and now put as many chairs inside the ring as possible – around one dozen or so. Then he shoves Cesaro back inside the ring and was ready to do some nasty chair stuff to Cesaro when Seth Rollins attacked Dean Ambrose outside the ring. But Dean Ambrose was quick to get rid of him with sending him into the timekeepers area. Actually, he was not very much distracted by Rollins – perhaps just due to the fact that there were so many toys placed inside of the ring that Dean Ambrose just had more fun playing with Cesaro than with Seth Rollins.

But by this time Dean Ambrose wanted to make his way back inside the ring, Cesaro was already back on top of his game. And what followed was basically the best move of the whole match: a superplex by Cesaro on Dean Ambrose from outside of the ring over the top rope straight into the roughly placed collection of chairs. A form of art – wonderful! And finally the audience went for a “This is awesome” chant. Very much about time at this point. But maybe these people were so much into this match that they just forgot to chant like this.

Like some poor fish without water, Dean Ambrose sold this move and after some regeneration of both men, Dean Ambrose countered with a lock roll to win this match after almost fourteen minutes.

Cesaro loves to sell his bad loser gimmick

For just three seconds Dean Ambrose was able to enjoy his victory but then Seth Rollins attacks him again, this time very aggressively. And he forced Dean Ambrose to sit into a corner. Just for Cesaro to punish Dean Ambrose for winning against him in an even equally aggressive fashion. He first stomp his foot right into his head and finally hit his Neutralizer on him. It’s now hardly possible to increase the amount of aggressiveness against Dean Ambrose without causing real damage, I guess.

Seth Rollins wants Dean Ambrose to stay down

Dean Ambrose vs Seth Rollins Also given the fact that Seth Rollins had the last laugh for this segment with performing his Curb Stomp on Dean Ambrose, he couldn’t take away anything from this match. It had just everything. The match was very much PPV material and very much worth being one of the best matches this year so far. It wasn’t the main event of this episode of SmackDown but does it really matter where this match is placed? It’s almost the same strategy the WWE did with CM Punk. Just because they desperately didn’t want him to be their big star, they refused to really push him for main event matches at Wrestlemania for example.

I like Dean Ambrose because he looks like some normal guy who won’t get any attention when you see him for the first time. But when he opens his mouth and when he makes his way inside the ring, you know that this man is something special. Wrestling is his life and even if WWE treat Dean Ambrose the same way as Punk, he won’t ever be mid card like Dolph Ziggler. Because, yes, he’s just one in a million.

Paige wants to be friends with anyone to beat them up

It’s hard to write some other words about all the other stuff that happened at SmackDown. Because, well, it’s like jumping out a plane without parachute. But I’ll try to write some synopsis.

For the Divas division it’s obviously goo to have this Paige vs. AJ Lee feud now rolling on. For her match against Naomi, Paige came out skipping to mock AJ Lee. Then she told the audience that she was still a friend of her as well as to Naomi. Cameron’s music then hit to distract Naomi, so Paige could get a very easy and very fast win after not even one minute of this match. And Cameron punished Naomi afterwards a bit.

Stardust and Goldust had another strange promo backstage while R-Truth had a quite boring and short match against Bray Wyatt. After just two minutes, Bray Wyatt got the win and then told Chris Jericho that he should save us.

Apparently Triple H bailed Stephanie out of jail

Michael Cole then informed us that Triple H apparently bailed out poor Stephanie McMahon out of jail and that she would address her arrest on coming RAW. Somehow I hope that she’ll have to say something to Dean Ambrose for his advice. But more possible is that she’ll just ignore it or don’t pay any attention.

After a lengthy repeat of Brrrock Lesnarrr being back with Paul Heyman, we got the main event match between Super Reigns and Alberto Del Rio. Reigns won after almost twelve minutes.


The Gifs for this review were brought to you by hot4men, part 1, part 2 / a-shattered-dreams-production / raphie-loves-the-shield / yayitsthewyattfamily.

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